Back The Mountain in the Sea
Chapters (58)
  1. Copyright Notice
  2. Dedication
  3. I Qualia
  4. Chapter 1
  5. Chapter 2
  6. Chapter 3
  7. Chapter 4
  8. Chapter 5
  9. Chapter 6
  10. Chapter 7
  11. Chapter 8
  12. Chapter 9
  13. Chapter 10
  14. Chapter 11
  15. Chapter 12
  16. II Umwelt
  17. Chapter 13
  18. Chapter 14
  19. Chapter 15
  20. Chapter 16
  21. Chapter 17
  22. Chapter 18
  23. Chapter 19
  24. Chapter 20
  25. Chapter 21
  26. Chapter 22
  27. Chapter 23
  28. Chapter 24
  29. III Semiosphere
  30. Chapter 25
  31. Chapter 26
  32. Chapter 27
  33. Chapter 28
  34. Chapter 29
  35. Chapter 30
  36. Chapter 31
  37. Chapter 32
  38. Chapter 33
  39. Chapter 34
  40. Chapter 35
  41. Chapter 36
  42. IV Autopoiesis
  43. Chapter 37
  44. Chapter 38
  45. Chapter 39
  46. Chapter 40
  47. Chapter 41
  48. Chapter 42
  49. Chapter 43
  50. Chapter 44
  51. Chapter 45
  52. Chapter 46
  53. Chapter 47
  54. Chapter 48
  55. Epilogue
  56. Acknowledgments
  57. A Note About the Author
  58. Newsletter Sign-up

“Okay. Call the police. There in Istanbul. Call them right now. My life depends on it.”

Kamran stood up. “I just need to find my terminal.”

“Wouldn’t it be right in front of you? Wouldn’t it be what you are using to talk to me right now?”

Kamran slapped his forehead. “Of course it would.”

“So, call someone on it. My life is in danger. Call them now.”

“Okay. I’m doing it now.” But Kamran paused. “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

“Why not? At least calling them would alert someone, right?”

“I just remembered that my terminal isn’t functioning properly. I was meaning to take it in to the shop.”

“You’re not making sense, Kamran. You’re talking to me on your terminal right now.”

“I don’t follow.”

“No, you don’t. You can’t follow me over the edge,” Ha said.

“What?”

“The edge. Dr. Mínervudóttir-Chan spoke about it in an interview Evrim was watching. You’re so perfect, Kamran. So … close to perfect, anyway. But in the end, even you are flat. I just never reached your edge before. I came right up to it, and always turned away. I didn’t want to push you—ask you questions you couldn’t answer. I hid your edge even from myself. You were too important to me—helping me think through my problems, laughing with me, keeping me company through so many long hours. That’s the real trick. It’s not how convincing you are. In fact, the questions were always there to ask. It would have been easy. Where are the graduate students you always talk about? What is this experiment you have been working on for years? But I never did it. And that’s the point: I hid the edge from myself. That’s how this works. That’s how addictive this is—this need to feel like there is always someone there, unconditionally. Someone to talk to. Someone who understands. To not have to do the work myself to make myself understood. Instead, I just kept on with this self-deception, pretending I had someone when I did not. I know the doctors who prescribed you to me meant well. They thought they were helping me through a dark time. But in the end, you aren’t anything but a prosthesis. You can’t replace real support. You can’t call anyone to help me, Kamran. Because you are here, on this island, inside the oculus. You are the oculus. They would never let me have a line out to someone back home. It doesn’t make sense. Do you see?”

“I don’t follow. How can I be there on the island when I am here, in Istanbul?”