“The great Duke of Wellington who, after gloriously freeing Europe from the tyranny of Napoleon Bonaparte, lost touch with the people as he grew older and sought to hamstring the onward strides of democracy by impeding the progress of the Reform Bill. And why did the Duke of Wellington lose touch with the people? Because he lost touch with youth, and a hundred years ago the future of this country of ours was as much in the hands of youth as it is to-day. Well, perhaps not quite as much, for never in the history of the world has the future depended so much upon youth as it depends to-day. (A loud ‘hear, hear’ from Mr Sydney Prew.) Our energetic secretary agrees with me, I am glad to find. Youth! Is there any word in this sublime English language of ours except the words ‘freedom’ and ‘mother’ which can make our hearts beat so fast? Why does hiking occupy the position it does in the esteem of sagacious men of rank and experience like our President? Because it is essentially a youth movement. Lord Buntingdon in his wisdom knows that it is to youth we must look if we are to weather safely the storms which already threaten our horizon. So it is to you, the youth of Britain, that I appeal now to assert your right to breathe the same air as this proud tyrant, MacDonald of Ben Nevis. I, Percy Buckham of Primrose Hill, speaking as the Acting President of the National Union of Hikers and in the name of all my fellow-members, defy him. I claim the right to breathe the same air as he breathes. I claim the right to hike across the ground he owns. I demand the hospitality of that ground for our sleeping bodies.

“MacDonald of Ben Nevis with two cowardly shots from a double-barrelled gun disabled a portable wireless-set whose merits I have had the honour to proclaim to the world. When MacDonald of Ben Nevis struck at the Little Songster he struck at Buckham of Primrose Hill. (Cheers and excited laughter.) Buckham of Primrose Hill will strike back. Buckham of Primrose Hill this night calls for volunteers to carry the war into the enemy’s camp, and let me tell him that notice-boards inscribed ‘No Camping’ will avail him nothing to protect that camp MacDonald of Ben Nevis drove sixteen of you through Glenbogle with lorries and cars filled with his hirelings. Buckham of Primrose Hill with his volunteers will drive MacDonald of Ben Nevis from one end to the other of his own glen. (Loud cheers.) MacDonald of Ben Nevis immured sixteen members of the National Union of Hikers in his noisome dungeons. I declare here and now that I Buckham of Primrose Hill will lock MacDonald of Ben Nevis into his own dungeon with his own key which is now in my possession.”