Louisa’s mouth dried. ‘I don’t know that, actually. I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.’ She turned away from him and walked to Noah’s pram, still parked in the hallway. His little chest rose and fell with quiet breaths. His eyes were closed; both tiny hands were curled into fists on each side of his head. She smiled. It was heart-warming to see him contented. ‘Come and sit down in the lounge, Oliver. I think it’s time we had this out.’

Louisa sat in the feeding chair, Oliver on the sofa opposite. The atmosphere had shifted in an instant, and now she didn’t want to be next to him. Not too close.

‘I don’t know what you mean about “having this out”.’ Oliver made quote marks with his fingers. ‘I know it was a long time ago, but you don’t forget something like that, Lou.’ His eyes were narrowed in disbelief but she really didn’t remember. How could she convince him of that? She’d have to give the full story – the only one she knew.

‘I … well, I have huge chunks of time, from back when I was at college, that are lost – or full of gaps, anyway.’ Louisa clasped her hands in front of her; her leg bounced.

‘Really? That’s convenient,’ he said, looking away from her.

‘No, Oliver, it’s not convenient. It’s anything but convenient. I’ve spent years of my adult life trying to find the reason why I blocked out some of those memories.’

He huffed. ‘Well, don’t worry – I can certainly help with filling in the bloody gaps.’ He was red in the face again, his eyes wide.

‘Why are you so angry with me? You’ve been harping on about how I should be helping you, like you once helped me, but now you’re acting as though I’ve done something wrong!’

‘You did do something wrong, Lou-Lou. You really don’t remember?’

‘No. Oliver. I really don’t. Tell me. Tell me what it is that I’m supposed to have done.’

He got up from the sofa and knelt in front of her, then he took both of her hands in his. ‘I’m not sure you’re ready to hear this, in that case.’

‘You’re probably right. But I think it’s something I have to hear. Go on.’

‘Ah, my Lou-Lou, we swore to each other we’d keep the secret, no matter what. And I have, for all these years. I even left to make it easier for you. It’s so hard now, to say it out loud,’ Oliver said, squeezing her hands even tighter. Tears shone in his eyes as they looked into hers.

‘Christ, Oliver. Don’t stretch it out, it can’t be that bad.’

‘It is, I’m afraid,’ he whispered.

Louisa’s heart tumbled. ‘For God’s sake, just spit it out.’