Chapters (64)
It was just before 6 p.m. when Noah finished his bottle and Louisa changed his nappy; the local news was just beginning on ITV. Emily hadn’t come home, probably avoiding Louisa again by staying at her friend’s until she absolutely had to come back. Even when she did return home, she’d no doubt disappear into her room without so much as a hint of conversation. Louisa needed to spend some time alone with her – like it used to be, before Noah. Show her that things weren’t that different.
But they were. Everything was very different.
Noah’s breathing became regular, little sighs of air escaping his puckered mouth. Louisa’s insides fluttered. The deep ache in her stomach made it feel like something was in it, swelling, filling the cavity – as Noah had only three months prior. Even though she’d struggled so far with a new baby, the feeling of love was unmistakable. She smiled. She might have suffered sleep deprivation, mood swings, lapses in memory – but gazing at her beautiful boy now, she knew she’d get through okay. They’d get through.
Gently repositioning Noah to her right side, Louisa unfolded the paper and perused the list of names, looking at each one, trying to put a face to them. There were more names than she’d assumed would be on it. Thank God all of these people hadn’t turned up. She’d have been horrified seeing all those faces. What had Tiff and Brian been thinking?
The best way would be to redo the list her way – putting them into categories: college friends, school-gate mums, mutual friends of hers and Tiff’s, Brian’s colleagues, their wives, Louisa’s colleagues from the accountancy firm.
But none of them will be able to help find Melissa.
The thought came to her in an instant. She shook her head. She felt that something in an untapped part of her brain knew something, but the rest of it was fighting against her remembering. But then, Louisa wasn’t the only one finding it difficult placing Melissa at her party. No one, as far as she knew, could remember seeing Oliver’s wife. Apart from maybe her. But that was a big maybe. It was entirely possible Louisa had merely assumed it was his wife standing beside him at the top of the stairs. Oliver hadn’t actually introduced her. All she could recall was him saying he’d only been married for a short time – but had he specifically referred to that woman as his wife? She really couldn’t remember.
But if Oliver had said she was there – then surely, she must’ve been.
Why would he lie?
22
THE DREAM
Friday a.m. – Day 7 post-party
‘Louisa! Louisa!’ Her name being shouted. Her body being rocked.
‘Can’t you hear him?’ Brian’s voice loud in her ear. ‘Haven’t you fed him?’