They were of a figure standing over a body. A bloody body. And a figure that she knew was her.

Louisa’s heavy eyelids closed. The pulling on her nipple had ceased and Noah was quiet.

She drifted.

‘Get away from me!’ Louisa’s eyes flew open, her muscles primed to leap from her chair to confront her attacker.

‘It’s just me, sorry, love. It’s okay.’ Brian’s hushed tones brought her rush of adrenaline back down again. It was only him taking Noah from her arms. Not a stranger; not someone wishing to harm him as her first thought had been. She’d been dreaming.

‘What time is it?’ Louisa rubbed her eyes with the palms of both hands. She felt as though she’d been shocked out of a long, deep sleep.

‘Just after six. You were sound asleep and I was hoping I could lift Noah off without waking you.’ Noah nuzzled in to Brian’s neck, his mouth open and searching. ‘Although, I think he’s hungry, so …’

Louisa sighed. Because she’d slept, hardly any time seemed to have passed since she’d fed him at three. The thought of him pulling at her nipples again made her feel physically sick. ‘Can you do it? Give him a bottle. Please? I can’t face another feed right now.’

‘Yeah, sure. Can you sort a bag of milk then?’

Louisa got up and headed for the freezer. It wouldn’t take long to defrost one of the milk packets she’d made up for Noah. Letting Brian have some time with his son would be good for them anyway, she thought as she pushed aside a pang of guilt at not feeding him herself. She’d done well during the day – breastfeeding regularly, even if not for long – she shouldn’t have anything to feel guilty for.

Her fingers stung with cold as she rummaged in the freezer drawers for one of the bags of milk.

‘Brian,’ she called from her bent position in front of the freezer, ‘have you moved the milk?’

She pulled some boxes of potato waffles forward, checking behind, but no see-through bags with the blue strip were visible. ‘Brian!’

‘Stop shouting, Louisa.’ Brian came into the kitchen, Noah doing his ‘start-up’ cry – the one that would continue to rise in pitch and decibel until his appetite was satiated. ‘No, I haven’t moved them. There were stacks in here last time I looked. Here, take him; I’ll check.’

‘I’m not missing them, Brian,’ Louisa said as she straightened and took Noah from him. The second he landed in her arms his cries increased in severity. ‘They are simply not there. You must’ve used up the supply when I was away on Friday.’

‘I didn’t.’ Brian was shaking his head, but whether it was out of confusion, or annoyance with Louisa, she couldn’t tell. ‘Are you sure you haven’t supplemented him today?’