Louisa had forced down a salad sandwich while feeding Noah. There’d been no response from Tiff since she sent the text two hours ago, which was hardly surprising given the way they’d left things. It would need more than a text to get their friendship back on track; it would have to be a face-to-face conversation. Louisa did want to apologise. She felt terrible about her accusations, but she also wanted to know the truth. She had to find out why Oliver had been visiting Tiff, because she was sure it was more than just friendly concern for her, and despite his assertion it was all in Louisa’s mind – another hallucination – she knew it hadn’t been.

And she wanted to know more about Brian’s friendship with her. If it was more than that, an affair, or even the thought of one, Louisa needed to know. Straight from the horse’s mouth. Oliver had said her car wasn’t in her driveway so she could still be out and about, but he might well have been trying to put her off because he was going to Tiff’s house himself and didn’t want to be caught again. The thought made her cheeks burn.

‘Come on, Noah – let’s get some fresh air.’ Louisa scooped him up out of his bouncy chair and smiled at how his face lit up and his little legs pumped in excitement. He was getting fuller in the face, its shape changing daily. A flood of affection filled her. Despite everything – the sleepless nights and hallucinations, the terrible forgetfulness – the fear of going through all the stages again – Louisa was glad she had him. In a funny way, he was actually helping her to keep her shit together now.

As Louisa drew close to the church, she wondered how the event had gone. She hadn’t been up the church tower since she was a child, when her father had climbed the steep, spiral steps with her, behind her every step of the way, encouraging her with a gentle push when she slowed. She’d been afraid that when she reached the highest point, a strong gust of wind would push her from the top, sending her hurtling to the ground, her small body splattering on the concrete. She’d seen danger in everything. A trait she seemed to lose during her teenage years.

Louisa had to admit, Tiff’s idea about using the drone was actually really good. She hadn’t told Brian about it in the end – no doubt he’d see the footage of the church event posted somewhere like Facebook, and go mad at her for lending it out without his permission. He hadn’t even used it properly yet – he’d be pissed off that someone had played with it first. She hoped Tiff hadn’t crashed it.