IT’S TUESDAY night when Mal calls Rowan. His phone buzzes in his pocket as he’s unlocking his front door from a particularly rough day at work. The shift was grueling and long, with call after call after call coming in, leaving them barely any time to return to the station to take a break in between each one. It felt like an endless cycle of pain and discomfort, mentally ill patients, and pranks gone wrong. He doesn’t even bother looking at the caller ID as he blindly swipes at his phone, expecting Jay or Aubrey or even his boss calling him back in for a double.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

Mal’s voice startles Rowan, freezing him in place in his doorway momentarily.

“Hey,” he says, finally snapping out of his daze and entering his apartment, dropping his backpack on the stool in the kitchen, and tossing his keys on the counter. “What’s up?”

“Wanted to see if you could talk. You got a few minutes?”

He sounds so different on the phone. Quieter, somehow. Softer too. Rowan likes it.

In truth, he’s exhausted. But he’s not going to turn down a chance to talk to Mal. Especially since this is the first time he’s ever called Rowan. And because of what happened with Steven a few days ago.

“Course. Everything okay?”

“Just thinkin’ about the other day.”

Rowan kicks off his shoes and immediately flops down on the couch, his body weight heavy as he sinks into the plush cushions.

Rowan’s silent for a beat. “Yeah?”

Mal’s silent for a beat. “Yeah.”

And Rowan doesn’t really know how to navigate this. Doesn’t know where Mal’s head’s at or what he wants to talk about exactly, but he isn’t offering any information. So he’s at a bit of a loss here.

“You feeling okay?”

He can start there, at least. See if Mal’s doing all right or if he’s about to go into some sort of mental breakdown. If he does, Rowan’s not sure how or if he can even handle that himself. But no matter what, he knows that he owes it to Mal to try.

“Yeah, I’m all right.”

“Did you drop?” Rowan asks gently.

“Nah. I’m more pissed than anything. Been a long time since I had to fully safeword during a scene. I’m used to pulling yellows every once in a while, but….” He’s quiet for a moment, and even through the phone, Rowan can feel that his gaze is somewhere far away. “I dropped that first time, y’know.”

“Huh?”

“After the gangbang.”

“Shit, really?”

The admission throws Rowan for a loop. Especially why Mal is bringing it up now of all times, months later. But he can go with the flow. Whatever Mal wants to talk about, there must be a good reason for it.

“Yeah.”

“Had that happened before?”