It’s some champagne, ma’am.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Cornelius; it’s our champagne.

ALL gather round August.

AUGUST:

No, no. It’s for His Honor the Mayor of New York and he’s very impatient.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Shame on him! The Mayor of New York has more important things to be impatient about. Cornelius, open it.

CORNELIUS takes the bottle, opens it and fills the glasses.

AUGUST:

Ma’am, he’ll kill me.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Well, have a glass first and die happy.

AUGUST:

Sits at table right, weeping.

He’ll kill me.

RUDOLPH lays the cloth on the table, left.

MRS. MOLLOY:

I go to a public restaurant for the first time in ten years and all the waiters burst into tears. There, take that and stop crying, love.

She takes a glass to August and pats his head, then comes back.

Barnaby, make a toast!

BARNABY:

Center of the group, with naïve sincerity.

I? . . . uh . . . To all the ladies in the world . . . may I get to know more of them . . . and . . . may I get to know them better.

There is a hushed pause.

CORNELIUS:

Softly.

To the ladies!

MRS. MOLLOY:

That’s very sweet and very refined. Minnie, for that I’m going to give Barnaby a kiss.

MINNIE:

Oh!

MRS. MOLLOY:

Hold your tongue, Minnie. I’m old enough to be his mother, and—

Indicating a height three feet from the floor.

a dear wee mother I would have been too. Barnaby, this is for you from all the ladies in the world.

She kisses him. BARNABY is at first silent and dazed, then:

BARNABY:

Now I can go back to Yonkers, Cornelius. Pudding. Pudding. Pudding!

He spins round and falls on his knees.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Look at Barnaby. He’s not strong enough for a kiss. His head can’t stand it.

Exit AUGUST, right service door, with tray and cooler. The sound of “Les Patineurs” waltz comes from off left. CORNELIUS sits in chair facing audience, top of table. MINNIE at left. BARNABY at right and MRS. MOLLOY back to audience.

Minnie, I’m enjoying myself. To think that this goes on in hundreds of places every night, while I sit at home darning my stockings.

MRS. MOLLOY rises and dances, alone, slowly about the stage.

Cornelius, dance with me.

CORNELIUS:

Rises.

Irene, the Hackls don’t dance. We’re Presbyterian.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Minnie, you dance with me.

MINNIE joins her. CORNELIUS sits again.

MINNIE:

Lovely music.

MRS. MOLLOY:

Why, Minnie, you dance beautifully.

MINNIE:

We girls dance in the workroom when you’re not looking, Irene.

MRS. MOLLOY:

You thought I’d be angry! Oh dear, no one in the world understands anyone else in the world.

The girls separate. MINNIE dances off to her place at the table. MRS. MOLLOY sits thoughtfully at table right. The music fades away.

Cornelius! Jenny Lind and all those other ladies—do you see them all the time?

CORNELIUS:

Rises and joins her at table right.

Irene, I’ve put them right out of my head. I’m interested in . . .