“Yeah, sorry, it just came out.” He let out a deep chortle. “I hope I’m not coming off as too much of a creeper,” he continued, laughing.

“No, not too much.”

“But really. How is a girl like you still single? Let me guess, you must be crazy, right?”

“I don’t know, I guess that’s for you to decide?” I pressed my lips together.

“Well, you can be crazy in certain areas that are good,” he said, giving me a wink. “Do you know what I mean?” he teased.

I shook my head, confused. Is he making a joke?

He smiled and gave me another wink. “So,” he said, leaning in, “tell me more about you.”

“What would you like to know?”

“Anything and everything! Tell me something nobody knows about you.”

“Isn’t it a little too soon for deep, dark secrets?”

“We’ve gotta make the most of our time! I can start if you want.”

“Okay . . .” I replied hesitantly, taking a sip of my water.

“Well, I’m a virgin . . .” he began. My eyes widened.

“But”—he leaned in closer—“I like that stuff a lot.”

I sputtered out a cough. “What?” I exclaimed.

“I mean, I think about it all the time, probably because I’ve never done it.” He laughed. Are we really talking about his virginity? On a first date? “Don’t get me wrong, I want a girl who’s conservative,” he continued, “but who’s also really into that stuff too, you know?”

“Yeah . . .” I said, looking over at Tania for help.

“So . . .” He grinned suggestively. “Your turn.”

“. . . ”

BUZZ!

Speed Date #2

“Hi.”

“Hi, nice to meet you—” Suitor #2 glanced down at his card. “Leila?”

“Yes, and you are . . .”

“Doctor Iqbal Bhatti.”

“Right. Doctor,” I said, trying not to roll my eyes. “So I’m not really sure how to do this, but I guess you can tell me a little about yourself?”

“Well, I’m just finishing up my second year of residency. I’m adventurous. I like being outdoors, and I’m—I’m sorry . . . but wow, you’re really hot!”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re just . . . wow! You actually remind me of someone.”

“Oh? Who’s that?” I smiled, mentally going through all the Bollywood heroines I wouldn’t mind being compared to.

“My sister, Najma. That’s who you remind me of!”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you two could literally pass for twins! Your facial features, your demeanor. It’s crazy!” Crazy creepy, I thought. “Man, I wish I had a picture with me!”

“Oh, um, that’s okay. So . . . are you and your sister pretty close?”

“Me and Najma? Nooo.” He laughed. “She’s my younger sister, so we don’t have much in common, but she is totally hot!”

“Yeah, you mentioned that . . .”

BUZZ!

Speed Date #3

“So how weird is this?” Suitor #3 said, darting uneasy glances around the room.

“Yeah.” I looked behind me, confused.

“No, I mean this is, like, weird!” He laughed nervously. “You know, I would never normally do this.”