And Kerry… she’s softer somehow. Not weak. Never that. But lighter. Like she’s no longer bracing herself for a fight she doesn’t need to have. Like she’s starting to believe that happiness isn’t something she has to earn. That peace doesn’t always come with a cost.

I know Kerry isn’t ready for a real relationship. I don’t even think she wants one, so I’ll continue to keep my growing feelings for her at bay. But if keeping up this charade is the only way to keep her in my life, then I’ll do it. Because this, whatever this is, feels real, and I’d be a fool to ever let this go.

Chapter 23

Lovesick Lunatic – Kerry

Ifeel completely exposed. Stripped bare in a way that has nothing to do with my body and everything to do with my heart, my past, my pain. Without meaning to, without even realizing it, I’ve given Vic pieces of me that no one has ever held before—pieces I spent years hiding, locking away so deep that even I had forgotten they existed. And yet, in his hands, they feel safe. Secure. Cherished.

It’s a stark contrast, an undeniable shift from the world I knew with Cory—where love was a battlefield and where pain was the price of affection. But with Vic? It’s different. It’s steady. It’s grounding. I like this version of love better. Maybe even more than that… maybe I want it.

Dr. Watkins sits across from me in the armchair at my parents’ home while I pace the living room during my weekly Saturday therapy. I should sit. I should try to relax. But I can’t. I can’t because so much is happening in my life, and it’s all a bit too much.

So, I frantically tell him everything.

About Cory. About finally having a fighting chance to take him down. About the possibility of being vindicated for all the pain he put me through. But I also express my fear—that just like before, my hope will be smothered and money and power will be used against me, crushing any hope of justice.

Then, I talk about Vic. About how this fake relationship was supposed to be easy, but now it isn’t. About how I don’t know if his feelings for me are real, if mine are real, or if I even deserve to have these feelings at all.

“I mean, is it even okay for me to date?” I ask, shaking my head as my voice rises with frustration. “It’s been years. And Cory was the only real relationship I’ve ever had. What if I’m just clinging to Vic because he’s safe? Because he treats me better than I’ve ever been treated? What if I’m confusing safety for love?”