Chapters (39)
Natalie flinched and snatched her hand away. “I don’t need to sit. I need … I … I …” She had no idea what she needed in this surreal, unbearable moment. She took a gulp of air. “He said he was going to be gone for the day. Yeah. Said he wouldn’t make it to my party at work. He was on a test flight. Oh God, did he crash during the test? Did … did—”
“It … It wasn’t a test flight.”
“Then he’s okay?” Natalie was desperate for that to be true.
Panic glinted in Miriam’s eyes. She seemed to have trouble meeting Natalie’s gaze. Then she took a deep breath. “He, um … He had a passenger.”
“I heard that on the news, yes.” Natalie’s mind raced. Oh God. Rick.
His parents lived in Petaluma. He had a sister there, too. Natalie had met her just a few weeks back—Rita? No, Rhonda. “Should I go see his folks?” she asked Miriam. “Is someone with them now?” Her heart hammered furiously. Her hands were clammy, her lungs aching for air.
Rick was gone. How could he be gone? They had dinner plans tomorrow night at the French Laundry in Yountville. She’d been agonizing over the talk they needed to have about the fact that the relationship didn’t seem to be working. She had been wondering which one of them would step up and end things.
How could he be gone?
“Natalie, I really need you to sit.” Miriam put a hand on her shoulder and steered her to the blond limestone steps in front of the low, modern building. Her touch was firm, yet Natalie could feel her hands shaking.
“Yes, okay. I’m … I guess everybody’s in shock …” She noticed a few others casting glances her way, whispering.
“He had a passenger,” Miriam said again. “She died, too.”
“Oh. Well, that’s terrible.” Her mind was racing. Running away from something too awful to grasp. She. Another woman? Was Rick cheating?
Not anymore, she thought. And then hated herself for thinking it.
Miriam turned to her. Held both her hands in a firm grip. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to … oh God. The other passenger was your mother.”
Time stopped. Everything stopped—breath, heartbeat, the turning of the Earth, the wind through the trees, the swarm of approaching personnel. Natalie forced herself to listen to Miriam’s explanation, struggled to take in the words while at the same time feeling everything inside her rise up in furious denial. This couldn’t be happening, but as more people drew around her, she felt the devastating electric shock of certainty.
She stared at the woman who had just said her mother was dead, but she really couldn’t see anything through the blindness of shock. And then it came, a pain so excruciating that she was flash frozen in white numbness, shot through the heart.