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Back The Long and Winding Road
Chapters (31)
  1. The Long and Winding Road
  2. Table of Contents
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Prologue: Or, Where Bear Answers the Door
  6. PAST
  7. 1. Where Bear Makes the Wrong Assumption
  8. 2. Where Bear Finds Out
  9. 3. Where Bear Makes a Decision
  10. 4. Where Bear Learns the Art of Breathing
  11. 5. Where Bear Has Bro-Time with Creed
  12. PRESENT
  13. 6. Where Bear Attends the Most Awkward Homecoming Ever
  14. 7. Where Bear Tells Tyson Everything
  15. 8. Where Bear Makes a Promise
  16. 9. Where Bear Goes to Lamaze Class
  17. 10. Where Bear Gets Advice About His Sex Life
  18. 11. Where Bear and Otter Role-Play at a Hotel Bar
  19. 12. Where Bear Faces the Reality of Married Life
  20. 13. Where Bear Sees Everything Change
  21. FUTURE
  22. 14. The Long and Winding Road
  23. Epilogue: Or, Otter’s Perspective, As It Were
  24. Coda
  25. No. Absolutely not. No way.
  26. More from TJ Klune
  27. Readers love the Bear, Otter, and the Kid Chronicles by TJ Klune
  28. About the Author
  29. By TJ Klune
  30. Visit Dreamspinner Press
  31. Copyright

AND SINCE I’m not willing to let him go without a fight, I’m sitting in the dark in the kitchen, the bright screen of my laptop hurting my eyes as I scour the internet for ways to put the spark back into my marriage.

I’ve found myself on some ridiculous website that apparently offers advice that I can’t tell if is real or if is satire. It’s hurting my brain, but I can’t look away. It has thousands of self-help topics from HOW TO BE NORMAL and HOW TO EXFOLIATE YOUR LIPS and HOW TO TREAT BOTULISM IN DUCKS. I almost get distracted by that last—because how do you treat botulism in ducks?—but I’m on a mission.

I click on the search bar and type in: HOW TO REKINDLE YOUR ROMANCE.

YOU’VE BEEN married for a long time. You wake up with your significant other, you go about your lives, and then come home to each other. You stare at each other from across the dinner table, conversation stifled and awkward, and you notice things that maybe you hadn’t noticed before, like the way your SO slurps their soup obnoxiously or chews with their mouth open. You begin to resent them, and soon it spirals down into a murder-for-hire plot that explodes out of control and ends with either one or both of you dead on a pier in the pouring rain.

But what if there was a way to avoid that?

What if there was a way to bring back the spark that drew you together before it ends in a murder/suicide?

By following these easy steps, you and your SO will be more in love than you ever were before, and you will be able to avoid becoming a killer!

Have a three-way! Look, most people believe that the lovemaking is the first thing to go when a marriage is choking itself to death. By bringing in a third party, it could bring a different form of excitement to a relationship. Fellas, don’t you want to see your lady love with another woman? Ladies, don’t you want to see your fella getting plowed with his face in the mattress? Whether it be a onetime thing or if it evolves into a polyamorous relationship, one out of sixty-four marriage counselors agree that bringing in another party to the bedroom is the perfect way to solve those doldrums.

Do the little things! Honestly, folks, we sometimes forget that not everyone needs a major event to prove your love. Send a text message that says you just saw a dirty city pigeon and it reminded your SO of them. That way, it lets your SO know you were thinking about them, even when apart. Send flowers! Or, if your SO loves treats, send them a tin of cheesy popcorn, because nothing says I love you like orange-stained fingers.