She smiles quietly. “I know. But we’re good, Bear. I promise. We decided to start couples counseling, and we’re getting back to each other the way we’re supposed to be. I know we’ll be fine. We just had to do a little work on ourselves. Which is why I’m bringing it up to you. It’s easy to get distracted by everything. You can’t let yourself forget about him. And I know that sounds weird, because you’re married to him, but—just take my word for it, okay? It might seem cheesy to have scheduled dates or scheduled sex, but trust me. You’ll start to look forward to it, because it’ll be something just for the two of you.”

“I’m glad you and Creed are good,” I tell her. “But now I’m about to freak out that Otter and I are going to get divorced because I haven’t gone down on him in three months.”

She sprays tea all over the table this time.

“You’re very classy,” I say solemnly, getting up to get a paper towel.

“You did that on purpose,” she says, tea dripping down her chin.

“You’ll never be able to prove it.”

She takes the paper towel from me and wipes off her face and the table. “See if I give you advice ever again.”

I roll my eyes. “Please. I can just go online to find out how to put the spark back in my marriage. It’s not going to be that hard.”

“Yeah, okay. Let me know how that works for you. And record it, just so I can see what happens.”

“I’m telling Creed you want to watch a sex tape with me and Otter.”

She grins. “Fuck yeah, I would. That’d be hot. Does he have a big dick?”

“Anna!”

“What?”

“That’s not—I’m not going to tell you that.”

She waits.

“Pretty big,” I admit, because I’m weak and feel the need to extoll my husband’s virtues. “He’s also got those hairy, chunky thighs that I like to ride when I—”

“Yep,” she says. “That’s enough for the ol’ spank bank.”

We really do need to set boundaries.

I’M NOT worried.

I’m not.

I mean, so what if Anna and Creed had marital troubles that none of us knew about.

They’re fine now.

Many couples go to counseling.

They’re fine.

Otter and I are fine.

“How was your day?”

He grunts at me.

“Really?” I say. “That sounds lovely. Tell me more.”

He grunts again.

“Great. What else did you and Creed do?”

“Bear?”

“Yes, Otter.”

“It’s two o’clock in the morning.”

“Is it?”

“Yes, Bear.”

“Oh. Well. Go to sleep.”

He does exactly that.

Our marriage is doomed.