“Anyway, she was out on the front porch, and I thought I’d be neighborly, given that she was new and all. But I could smell it on her even as I introduced myself. She was smoking, and everyone knows secondhand smoke is just as bad as if you put that filter in your own mouth and suck, so I told myself I wouldn’t stay long. And she was polite, but only just, and I knew we’d never be friends. Just one of those things, I guess. She asked if I wanted to share a drink in celebration. I declined, but I asked what she was celebrating. She said it was her son’s birthday. Funny name, she called him. Said it was Bear’s birthday, and she was toasting him, even though he wasn’t there to see it. I asked her why this son of hers wasn’t there. And you know what she did? She smiled at me and said that it was because she wasn’t brave enough. She cried after that. I waited until she was done before I told her that it was never too late.”

My fingernails are digging into the palms of my hands. Otter’s looking worried, like he’s getting ready to jump out and rush over any second now.

“You know what she said to that?” the woman asks me. “She said that sometimes, bravery isn’t enough. I didn’t believe her, of course, but I believed that she believed it. And since I didn’t know her from Adam, who was I to argue? I wished her a good evening and saw myself home. Never really talked to her after that. It was as if that was the last time she knew how to be a person. Every time I saw her after that, she was rude and indifferent. It got to the point where I didn’t even wave hello anymore. The girl, though. The girl was nice. She’s going to be okay?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Because I think she needs someone to love her. Don’t know that she got enough of that here. Well. Enough jawing. I expect you’ve got a trip ahead of you. Don’t worry about things here. I’ll make sure the keys get to where they need to be.”

I hear her shut the door behind her.

Otter sits idling on the corner, and I can tell he’s starting to get agitated, that at any moment he’s going to burst out of the SUV and charge over to me, demanding to know if I am all right. He tends to be overprotective like that, and I think being here is probably affecting him almost as much as it is me.

I hesitate, only for a moment, looking over at the house that I don’t think ever really became a home. It looks shabbier now that I know what was inside. Dull and lifeless. I can see through the front window, and it’s hollowed out and empty.

My mother was not a good woman.