She glanced at Jack again. He was still hanging out of the window. His grey tracksuit bottoms were baggy and, she assumed, had not been washed since he became a tenant at Rokeby Close. While Ellen’s hygiene was her own ongoing personal battle, Jack too had unorthodox habits. He kept all of his laundry in a bin bag, and the first time he had used the washing machine in the kitchen, Alexa had caught him just in time, before he used washing-up liquid (‘I thought it was the same,’ he said, shrugging). He appeared to keep only a single toiletry item (a 2-in-1 supermarket shampoo and conditioner) in the bathroom, and while she assumed he must have changed his toothbrush – he’d lived there almost eight months – did he really buy the same one, over and over again? It was certainly always the same colour.

However, it was his aversion to the shower that fascinated Ellen the most: indeed, she didn’t believe she’d ever known him to take one. Instead he always, always took baths; usually fairly long ones, even in the morning before work. On weekday mornings, Alexa – who had to be in the office at 8.30 a.m. – had always risen, washed and left the house before Ellen or Jack were awake (no matter where she’d been the night before). This left the two more slovenly members of the household to engage in an unspoken competition to get into the bathroom first.

When Jack had first moved in, he had always managed to get in there five to ten minutes before Ellen did. She’d go up to the first floor, see the door locked and think surely, that can’t be him running … a bath? She hadn’t believed it, the first three or four mornings. But that was precisely what he was doing: he’d run one, and then he’d sit and swill in it for twenty minutes – twenty minutes when Ellen would have to sit, stewing with frustration, on the stairs until he’d come out, a little pink, fully dressed (including his shoes?!) and say, ‘Halloo’. The bathroom mirror would be all steamed up, and there was – invariably – no hot water.

After two weeks of this, Ellen had WhatsApped Alexa from the stairs, as she waited for the bathroom to be free.

Omg he has done it again

He’s having a fucking bath!

I am sat here on the stairs waiting to get into shower

HAS HE NEVER HAD HOUSEMATES BEFORE???

HE CANT JUST HAVE A MORNING BATH

Also tbf it is creepy af

Alexa had replied later that morning.

Sorry was in meetings

I mean you can’t stop him having a bath

Agree is q weird

Maybe just set your alarm five mins earlier??