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Chapters (39)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. 1. Ellen
  5. 2. Ellen
  6. 3. Alexa
  7. 4. Jack
  8. 5. Ellen
  9. 6. Alexa
  10. 7. Ellen
  11. 8. Jack
  12. 9. Ellen
  13. 10. Jack
  14. 11. Ellen
  15. 12. Alexa
  16. 13. Ellen
  17. 14. Ellen
  18. 15. Ellen
  19. 16. Alexa
  20. 17. Jack
  21. 18. Ellen
  22. 19. Alexa
  23. 20. Jack
  24. 21. Alexa
  25. 22. Jack
  26. 23. Alexa
  27. 24. Ellen
  28. 25. Ellen
  29. 26
  30. 27. Ben
  31. 28. Alexa
  32. 29. Jack
  33. 30. Ellen
  34. 31. Jack
  35. Ellen
  36. Acknowledgements
  37. Read More
  38. 1
  39. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

Not to mention, the stakes were high. Ellen had been struggling to shake off this girl called Charlotte, who lived next door to her in halls and had suggested they do things like attend a seminar on the Dewey Decimal system together. This made becoming Alexa’s friend even more urgent. Charlotte complained a lot, and loudly, about a group of beautiful people who were all from London and lived in their corridor. They sat outside their rooms every evening, eating dinner together and tossing their hair while laughing. The girls sat on the boys’ laps – even the ones they weren’t going out with – and it was probably very fun if you were involved, but very annoying if you were trying to sleep, or study, or had to climb over them to get to the shared kitchen. And yet, Ellen was certain this group were not the right enemies to make. While she knew it was unkind, she really – powerfully – didn’t want Charlotte to be her university friend, the one she saw when they were adults, sharing memories over wine-soaked dinners when they both had jobs (?) and leather wallets. Frankly, one did not reminisce fondly over the Dewey Decimal system.

And so she made befriending Alexa her project, at a cost to most of her university work. They’d walk down cobbled streets, scarves whipping in the wind, and swap histories. Or they’d sit in the front room of a small, crowded tea shop full of students, with copies of The Canterbury Tales propped up in front of them. Sometimes they’d sit on a low wall on the main street and watch the world go by together, feeling out the edges of who the other person was.

One evening, after a seminar, when they’d both submitted their essays and a chill sunset stretched across the horizon, Alexa turned to Ellen, her nose a little pink from the cold, shoulders hunched inside her long camel coat.

‘Do you want to go for a drink, maybe? We could go to the Eagle – it’s just down here.’

‘Yes!’ Ellen said, practically clutching Alexa’s arm with excitement.

They took a small table in one corner of the grand pub, not far from the hulking mahogany bar, near a fire where flames licked and danced. And even though it was chilly and past 5 p.m. in a student town, it stayed pretty quiet in there, and they lingered for hours.

‘OK, I’ve spent all the money I had with me but I’ve got a bottle of wine in my room,’ Ellen offered, finally, stifling a hiccup. ‘Do you want to come and drink that too?’

‘Definitely,’ Alexa said.