Chapters (39)
- Cover
- About the Author
- Dedication
- 1. Ellen
- 2. Ellen
- 3. Alexa
- 4. Jack
- 5. Ellen
- 6. Alexa
- 7. Ellen
- 8. Jack
- 9. Ellen
- 10. Jack
- 11. Ellen
- 12. Alexa
- 13. Ellen
- 14. Ellen
- 15. Ellen
- 16. Alexa
- 17. Jack
- 18. Ellen
- 19. Alexa
- 20. Jack
- 21. Alexa
- 22. Jack
- 23. Alexa
- 24. Ellen
- 25. Ellen
- 26
- 27. Ben
- 28. Alexa
- 29. Jack
- 30. Ellen
- 31. Jack
- Ellen
- Acknowledgements
- Read More
- 1
- THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
Alexa had been awake for about twenty minutes when Ellen rapped loudly on her door. She always struggled to sleep much past 7.30 a.m., even on Saturdays. When her eyes had opened with a start, it had taken her a few seconds to work out what had happened – and who was lying beside her – though being naked had helped her arrive at the answer fairly quickly. Alexa, as a rule, never slept naked. She’d felt a squirming thrill as the details returned to her in snatches.
Lying very, very still in an effort not to wake Ben, she had moved her left arm – slowly, cautiously – towards the table in order to reach for her phone. She could hear his steady breathing, and realized she was holding her own breath.
She had received six WhatsApps from Ellen: the first sent at 11.28 p.m, although she hadn’t seen any of them. She must have been home with Ben by that point – she couldn’t quite get a handle on how the evening had spun out.
Yoooooo
Are you coming to meet us?
Lee is being q weird i think he is avoiding me
Then, from 2 a.m.:
Coming homeeeee
I hope you are up
Bedroom partyyyyyy!!!
She smiled, imagining the scene, rather relieved to have been spared the reality. Ellen had the stamina of an ox.
Concentrating very hard on moving and breathing as little as possible, Alexa checked her emails (mercifully, nothing from work) then Instagram. Ellen had added a picture of herself and Kayleigh to her Story (‘Friday in full Flowdown’). Alexa closed Instagram and – out of force of habit – opened a news app, started reading a story about carbon emissions and then closed it again. Remaining very still, she returned her phone to its perch on the wooden bedside stool and snaked her arm back under the duvet. She noted the condom wrapper in her eyeline, and she wrinkled her nose, feeling another squirm of embarrassment and delight.
Closing her eyes for a minute or two, she tested whether she could fall back asleep. No: she was too heightened to the presence of Ben’s naked body beside hers, chest rising and falling evenly. She opened her eyes and slid up on to her elbows, observing him, then looked away. It would be very weird if he woke to find her watching him.
Unusually for a Saturday morning – Ellen and Jack were not early risers – there were signs of life in the house. Alexa could hear footsteps – were they coming from upstairs? – and the low hum of voices. In fact, the footsteps sounded like they were getting closer.
And, suddenly, there was a very loud and very insistent rapping on the door.
She sat up quickly, pulling half of the duvet around her.
‘Hmmmm?’ Ben said, opening one eye slowly. She tensed, suddenly very conscious of her own nudity.
‘Hey,’ he said, dopily, a smile playing about his lips. His eyes were half open.