rainham_romeo1991: I just feel like you’re the only person in my life i can talk properly to

rainham_romeo1991: which is weird because we’ve never actually met.

rainham_romeo1991: do you know what i mean?

She was still breathing heavily. Feeling rash, she replied.

miss_BehaviourX91: totally

miss_BehaviourX91: it’s so easy to share so many of my thoughts with you in a way i don’t have with any of my friends

rainham_romeo1991: exactly. i feel like with you i am my realest self

rainham_romeo1991: i don’t know what happens next. i don’t know what i mean to do with this admission

rainham_romeo1991: i just knew i had to tell you

rainham_romeo1991: i hope that’s ok

miss_BehaviourX91: i’m really glad you did

Again, he was typing.

rainham_romeo1991: i’m really glad you feel the same way x

Wait, was he signing off? Should she sign off too?

miss_BehaviourX91: yeah x

Oh wait, no, he was still typing.

rainham_romeo1991: so. more news. i’ve been writing you something

rainham_romeo1991: it’s not ready yet

rainham_romeo1991: but it will be soon. and when it is i’d like to send it to you. if that’s ok

Writing something? But they were already writing things to one another, every evening. Maybe it was … a poem. Or a song?

miss_BehaviourX91: i’d love that

rainham_romeo1991: you don’t have to answer. but obviously i’d love it if you did

OK, so it was unlikely to be a love poem. Or a song. Ellen swallowed her disappointment He was typing again.

rainham_romeo1991: it will be ready probably on sunday

Her ears felt hot.

miss_BehaviourX91: i can’t wait to read it

rainham_romeo1991: good

Ellen sat at the computer, watching the cursor flash. She chewed her lip. He was typing again.

rainham_romeo1991: on that note, m’lady, i may retire

rainham_romeo1991: bonne nuit x

miss_BehaviourX91: sleep well x

‘Sleep well’ had felt really risqué when Ellen first used it, mainly as it had referenced – however obliquely – the idea of being in a bed. Now she used it as her preferred sign-off. He had started using French after she’d mentioned the annual family holidays in Brittany. She’d told him about her first cigarette too, shared on last summer’s trip with a friend she’d picked up there. Though not the part where she was sick afterwards.

That Friday evening and the rest of the weekend passed as normal – which was to say that she spent most of it obsessively thinking about him and what could possibly be coming. On Saturday, she went to sleep over at Kate’s. It was a week until allowance day, and neither of them had any money to try going out, so they spent the evening watching films in the snug and eating bowls of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. Ellen felt weird not telling Kate about the conversation, but she also didn’t want to tell her, in case her friend said something that might ruin it.

On Sunday morning, they woke up and Ellen had made her excuses a little earlier than usual.