"Aye, square in the nose. Didnae break it, but I drew blood, an' he stumbled back a few steps, cursin' up a storm, then he twisted his ankle on a tree root an' tumbled ower the edge, right intae Loch Ness."

"What happened next?"

"I dropped tae my knees an' looked ower the slope. John had surfaced an' wis treadin' water. He wis in fair shape, though blood wis pourin' frae both nostrils. I called oot, 'and that's the price o' doin' business with a Wallace, ye cheatin' bastard.' Suddenly, the water came alive wi' salmon, must've been hundreds o' them. Some were leapin' straight oot o' the water, a few smackin' John right in the heid. Made me laugh, it did, but then… then the sun slid behind a cloud an' I saw it."

"It?"

The benches creaked in unison as the public leaned forward to listen. "Aye. A huge animal it wis, long an' serpentlike, had tae be at least fifteen meters, an' it was circlin' John an' thae salmon like a hungry wolf. Grayish in color, or maybe broon, hard tae tell 'cause it wis stayin' jist below the surface, an' visibility in the Loch's like lookin' through a dark lager. I could jist make oot a bizarre dorsal fin runnin' the entire length o' its body, almost like a horse's mane. John couldnae see the creature, but he could feel its powerful undertow as it circled, an' he grew all panicky, callin' oot tae me for help."

"What did you do?"

"Nothin' I could dae, for whit happened next happened awfy fast. The sun appeared again an' splattered across the surface, blindin' me in its reflection, so that I lost sight o' the beast. An' then …" Angus paused, pinching the bridge of his nose with a quivering hand.

"Go on."

"Then John let oot a cry… a terrible wail it wis, the most awfy sound I ever did hear, only it ended abruptly as the creature grabbed hold an' dragged him under frae below, an' the two o' them jist disappeared."

The courtroom erupted in a hundred conversations, some people laughing hysterically, others aghast, howling and swearing like they'd seen the Holy Ghost. The widow Cialino bit her lip and covered her face in her hands, and more than a few of the older ladies fainted dead away.

Me? I just sat there, incredulous.

The judge banged his gavel for quiet, nearly breaking it in the process. "Let me remind you that this is the High Court. Another outburst and I shall order this courtroom cleared!"

The silence became deafening, no one, save me, wanting to leave.

The judge turned to Angus, a skeptical look on his face. "Mr. Wallace, are you actually testifying, under oath, that you witnessed Mr. Cialino devoured by… by the Loch Ness monster?"

"No' devoured, m'lord, but snatched an' dragged below, absolutely."

I closed my eyes, praying not to see any purple spots.