"No," I said, interrupting her commercial. "Look, Mr. Oldham, I appreciate your offer, but I'm not a cryptozoologist, and I don't want the world to perceive me as one. All this nonsense about monsters creates an impossible environment to conduct a serious study. Fakes, phony sightings, doctored photos, childish pranks, tongue-in-cheek movies… is it any wonder so many reputable scientists avoid Loch Ness like the plague? You want to know if there's a large water creature inhabiting these waters? My answer is maybe, but I'm not interested in risking my reputation as a marine biologist to find out."

"That's where you and I disagree," Oldham said. "Settling the debate once and for all would actually enhance your status as a scientist."

"Tell that to Denys Tucker," I mumbled.

"Maybe he's just afraid?" Bibi surmised.

The migraine moved into its next stage as the Nessie III settled into an open berth.

'Are you afraid, Dr. Wallace?" Oldham accused.

"It's okay to be afraid," offered the younger Jordan boy. "I'd be afraid to go down there, too."

My insides gurgling, I patted the four-year-old on the head, then stood, pushing my way through the wall of passengers.

"Zachary, wait!"

Ignoring Brandy's calls, I jumped onto the dock, my eyeball throbbing as I frantically searched for a public bathroom in which to be sick.

It was about 3 PM on an overcast day when I saw it. Its head and neck rose from the calm surface of the Loch and moved along quite near the shore. The head was small in comparison to the thickness of the creature's neck. After about five minutes, a passing steamer sounded its siren and the creature, after turning its head in an agitated manner, plunged out of sight.

—MISS RENA MACKENZIE, INVERMORISTON, 22 DECEMBER 1935

Loch Ness was calm the day my first mate (Rich) and I took the (steam tug) Arrow on her maiden voyage from Leith to Manchester. Suddenly, we noticed a huge black animal, like a humpbacked whale, emerge on the surface and keep pace with the ship. At first we saw two distinct humps, one after the other, but after a brief disappearance, the beast reappeared with seven humps or coils, before tearing past the tug at a terrific speed, leaving large waves.

—CAPTAIN BRODIE, 30 AUGUST 1938

Chapter 11

Fort Augustus, Loch Ness
Scotland

Nearly two hours after docking in Fort Augustus, I emerged from the men's public bathroom, drained and pale, the effects of the migraine still lingering like a bad morning hangover. I was in no shape, physically or mentally, to manage a return trip up the Loch, and yet I knew I was in deep shit with Brandy.

Honesty's the best policy, Zack. Tell her about your phobia, and she'll have to forgive you.

Rehearsing my speech, I walked slowly back to the Nessie III. Brandy was out on deck, cleaning. Before I could get in a word edgewise, she launched her attack from the starboard rail.