"Because the monster alibi, as hokey as it is, required planning. You had to get Cialino to Urquhart Castle, you had to fly me in as a witness, you even went so far as to obtain my unpublished dissertation. Planning means Johnny C.'s murder was no accident, it was premeditated. When that jury rules you guilty, and believe me, when the smoke clears they will, you'll spend the rest of your days behind bars… if you're lucky. See, this isn't a Rubik's Cube you've cheated this time, Angus, it's the High Court of Scotland. You may have had fun tossing dynamite at the media, but you've overplayed your hand, pissing off that prosecutor, who's going to nail your hairy ass to the wall."

"So says you."

"And what says the merry widow?"

He looked up at me then, anger in his eyes. "Theresa? She had nothing tae dae wi' this."

"Sure she didn't. I saw how she was looking at you… playing you like a fiddle."

"Och! Ye dinnae ken anythin'!"

"Pretty face, gorgeous body, it was sweet bait, and you grabbed it, hook, line, and sinker. Only this woman, she's got her own ambitions. Tell me, how many times did you screw her behind Johnny C.'s back before she began planting the idea of killing her husband?"

"Shut up."

"I'll bet it was her idea to use Nessie as an alibi. Just think of what this publicity will do to generate business at her new resort. And then you jumped right in, telling her how you could solidify your defense by dragging me into it."

"Ye're aff yer heid!"

"Use the Nessie story, Angus, and I'll triple the money Johnny owes you. We'll live happily ever after … except, of course, she'll have all of Johnny's assets, including his new resort, while you're pledging your undying love as you dance on the end of a rope."

"Shut up! Theresa's a friend, nothin' more."

"Yeah, sure. No wonder you hired Max instead of a real attorney. Bet he's getting a piece of the action on the side, too, huh?"

"Get oot! Get the fuck oot o' here, ye wee bastard! I never want tae see ye again! Ye're no son o' mine!"

"Ah, how I wish that were true," I said, rolling over to get some sleep, congratulating myself on finally being able to push Angus's buttons. "But here's some free advice from one bastard to another. Be sure to hold your head up nice and high when they hang you, Pop. Remember, you're a Wallace."