He nodded, looking at my eyes but also through me, lost in thought. Oh I was meaning to tell you . . . he said with a chuckle, his eyes focusing back on my face. Lucas sent me this crazy article today about this couple in Florida who reported hearing this humming sound in their house. It kept them up for days, and when they investigated they discovered this humongous wasps’ nest in a hollow wall and they had to tear down the entire—

Why are you telling me this? I interrupted. My face felt hot.

I just—

Can we just kiss? I asked. We did for a few moments, until I fell back out of it. Why did you tell me that?

Just forget about it.

But I couldn’t. I was irritated and distracted now. Did you tell Lucas about me? I asked.

No, he has no idea; he just sent it to me because he thought it was crazy.

It didn’t sound like a wasps’ nest, I said, overtop of his reply.

I know, I—

I told him it sounded like distant thunder rumbling all the time, it wasn’t a wasps’ nest, it wasn’t just a funny story in some ‘crazy’ article. I disentangled myself from Paul and lay back on my side of the bed.

I just thought it was funny.

Well it’s not.

Nothing much is anymore, is it, he said, sitting up. I lay there for a long moment, looking at the ceiling, fists balled at my side. I could hear him starting to check emails on his phone.

Maybe I shouldn’t sleep here tonight, I mumbled.

Oh c’mon.

I don’t think we’re ready, I said, sliding out of bed. I started towards the door, but he got up and waylaid me in the middle of the room with a hug from behind. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me there.

Please, he whispered. I let him hold me, and slowly melt me against his big white slice of Wonder Bread chest. We just stood there, breathing together for a long while, until I felt him getting hard against my thigh.

Oh, and we’re back, I said.

I’m throwing down the gauntlet.

I turned to face him. He wore a boyish, expectant look. I couldn’t help but smile. He leaned down and kissed me on the lips.

I’m sorry, he murmured. I’m trying.