Lena smiled up at her husband. ‘Give me the car keys, will you, Dan? I feel a bit iffy. I’m going to pick up our Tania. She is late as usual – honestly, she will be late for her own funeral, that one. But I could do with the break anyway.’

Daniel knew exactly what was wrong with his wife; she was nothing if not vocal about her change, and he did feel sorry for her. He could see how much it affected her on a daily basis. He was glad he was a man; women, he felt, certainly got the thin end of the wedge when it came to hormones, or in this case, the lack of them. She was like the Antichrist some days, and he would be glad when it was all over at last.

He put his arm around her protectively. ‘You all right, Lena? You look dog rough, girl.’

Lena laughed; only her Daniel could say something like that and still think he was being nice. ‘I’m all right, I just need to get a bit of air, that’s all. I want to see Tania anyway. She should have been here ages ago. Give me your car keys.’

Daniel grinned. ‘They’re in my coat. But hang on and I’ll get someone to drive you, love.’

Lena was shaking her head. ‘Honestly, Daniel, I don’t need a driver, I’d rather go by myself, mate.’

Peter Bailey pulled his brother towards him. ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ve got the keys to my Merc here. I won’t be driving tonight, young Roy Barber is my designated driver. Have you seen him? He only looks about fucking twelve. I’ll get him to drive you, Lena.’

Lena sighed in annoyance now. ‘No, honestly, Peter, I’d rather drive myself.’ She smiled at her husband sadly. ‘I might not come back if you don’t mind, Daniel – if Tania isn’t in the mood, like. I’ll stay at home with her.’

Smiling, Peter said, ‘Fair enough.’ He handed the keys to Lena. ‘Look, it’s right outside. You take it, mate. Tell Tania she needs to get a fucking wristwatch. She’s worse than my Ria for being late.’

Lena really laughed then. ‘I know, Pete, she is on her own time zone, her. I’ll make sure the doormen keep your space for you, OK? But if I don’t come back, you won’t mind, will you?’

Peter shook his head. ‘’Course not, mate. Fuck me – if we can’t get a lift home then we are doing our jobs wrong!’

Lena hugged her brother-in-law and he hugged her back. Then she kissed her husband on the cheek, and he held her tightly to him. ‘Come back, Lena, please? I think me and you have a dance booked later – that’s if this ponce ever plays real music, of course.’