For a long moment after she had finished speaking, Rose and Tom stood silently in the centre of the room, while Oliver sat, his head in his hands. Beyond the window, clouds moved in front of the moon, the endless empty fields stretching on beneath it cast suddenly into darkness.

26

Suffolk, 1981

I didn’t notice the baby, not straight away. Rose and Oliver both looked so awful, were in such a state, that it took me a few moments before I saw the tiny creature wrapped in a blanket in Rose’s arms. And it’s funny but I realized immediately; before they said anything, I had already guessed whose she was. ‘Oh, Rose …’ I said.

‘Beth, we need your help,’ she replied.

That was when Doug came into the hall. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked, taking in the sight of the four of them.

But Rose didn’t shift her eyes from mine. ‘There’s been an accident, Beth,’ she said, her voice low and strained. ‘There’s been a terrible accident and you have to help us.’

Once we were all seated in our living room you could have heard a pin drop as Rose began to tell us what had happened. When she got to the part where Nadia jumped, I gasped, and Doug got to his feet. ‘And you didn’t call the coast guards, the police?’ he asked, incredulously. ‘What the hell were you thinking? You just ran? You took the baby and ran?’ He turned first to Oliver and then to me. ‘For God’s sake, we need to tell someone!’

Rose stared at him, her face still drained of colour, her eyes wide and bright. In her arms the baby began to stir.

‘Doug,’ I said firmly, ‘sit down,’ and he was so surprised that he did what I asked. I went to Rose and gently lifted the child from her arms. God, she was tiny. She was so, so tiny. I suppose my nurse’s instincts kicked in because I suddenly felt very calm. ‘Do you have formula and nappies for her?’ I asked. When Rose didn’t reply, just gazed at me blankly, I had to go to her and take hold of her shoulder while I said it again, loudly and slowly. I noticed that she was trembling quite violently.

At last she nodded. ‘Yes, yes, I – they’re in the bag beneath Emily’s pushchair. We stopped on the way. There was some milk still left in the bottle that she had with her. I think … I think maybe it’s breast milk.’ She clamped a hand to her mouth then. ‘Oh God,’ she cried. ‘Oh God!’

‘OK,’ I said. ‘Good.’ When I’d got the bag I turned to Doug, handing him a bottle and a tin of Cow & Gate. ‘Just follow the instructions on the side.’