Everything about him was small and pinched—slight build, beady eyes, thin lips, narrow face. I imagined one of Karol’s toy soldiers had come to life; the mental image would have made me laugh if not for the look on this man’s face. When he lifted his eyes to mine, they were hardened by revulsion, as if he’d never seen anything more inferior than the girl before him. At the same time, his lips were parted in a way that seemed far too eager.

“Do you play chess?” he asked. He looked to a nearby guard and gestured, probably to tell him to translate, but I nodded. He clenched his jaw, perhaps insulted by my knowledge of his native tongue, and dropped my pawn into my palm.

I stepped back, but I wasn’t in line at all. And my family was nowhere in sight.

I turned in a full circle. Surely they couldn’t be far; I’d walked only a few steps to retrieve my chess piece. Nothing looked familiar, I couldn’t remember which direction the soldier had sent us in, and I could hardly see over the crowd. People bumped into me and pushed me aside, making it impossible to stay in one place, and I clutched my fists to my chest, my heart hammering beneath them.

We’re going to the same place, like that soldier said. If I don’t find my family now, I’ll find them when we get there.

The reminder was comforting, but every passing minute separated us more. Maybe they’d already reached our final destination. The SS officer was watching me, so I turned back to him. I couldn’t bear the look on his face; instead I stared at the ground and spoke in a small voice.

“Could you tell me where to go? I was supposed to stay with my family, but now I’m lost, and I—” I broke off with a shaky breath. “Please, I have to find them.”

After a brief pause, he snapped his fingers at another SS soldier and nodded toward me. The soldier looked confused, probably because he was leading a group of men; still, he didn’t dispute the unspoken order. He waved me into his group, so I obliged.

For a moment, I thought I saw Tata, but my hopes were crushed as quickly as they’d risen. Not him. But we were going to the same place. How I got there wasn’t important, only that I rejoined my family.

As I followed the men, I looked over my shoulder. The SS officer watched us go with that same hunger on his face, and I closed my hand tighter around my tiny pawn. Another SS man called out to him, and the sound of his name floated across the platform and reached my ears. Fritzsch. I had a feeling I should remember it.

Chapter 4

Auschwitz, 20 April 1945