To steady the fury pumping through my veins, I inhaled the cool night air, pretending it smelled crisp and clean, not like the garbage and mildew in this filthy alley. At last Irena closed the distance between us until her tall, thin frame loomed over me. I stood my ground, but, when she spoke, her voice was sharper than the frigid gusts tearing across my skin.

“If you ever try another fucking intervention, we’re finished. And if I hear another damn word out of your mouth tonight, you’ll wish you’d left me with those soldiers.”

She didn’t wait for a reply—I wasn’t supposed to say another damn word anyway—and instead walked toward the street. I stayed where I was, watching her go. Irena had broken her own rule about using our real names during resistance activities. I wanted to tell her so, but I decided not to provoke her. It seemed I’d provoked her enough for one evening.

* * *

Auschwitz, 29 May 1941

The train rumbled along the tracks all night, the railcar dark as Warsaw’s unlit streets during curfew. Mama told us to drink the disgusting water from the communal pail, despite my fears of the drink forcing me to use the waste bucket. I already stood in a railcar, shoved against strangers, being transported like goods for trade; I could at least retain what little dignity remained. But Mama insisted.

By the time the train stopped, it felt as if we’d been trapped for decades. When the doors swung open, they revealed SS men, who ushered us onto a platform. Mama got out first, followed by Zofia and Karol, and I stayed behind to help Tata. As we neared the door, I grabbed his hand to pull him to a stop. When he looked at me, I couldn’t look back.

“Tata, I’m so—”

He cupped my face in his warm hands, so I swallowed the tears threatening to spill out. “True freedom comes from bravery, strength, and goodness. The only one who can take those from you is you.” After I nodded slowly, he took my wrist and rotated it, so I opened my palm to reveal the pawn he’d given me. With a smile, he closed my fingers over it and kissed my forehead.

“Raus!” someone shouted.

Tata and I continued toward the exit. It was a big step down to the platform, so he sat, took Mama’s hand, and landed on his good leg. They both offered me a hand as I followed.

Outside, I’d expected to have more room, but it was still crowded and reeked of passengers covered in sweat, human waste, and filth. The gray morning carried a heavy chill while chaos unfolded before my eyes. Soldiers bellowed and beat the new arrivals with guns and whips, and crazed men in striped uniforms did the same, urging everyone along.