Next to me, Irena seemed tense, but I brushed it aside and maintained my timid act as she led me outside the camp. We reached her barracks, and to my relief every woman was out on duty. I followed her to a large room with bunks similar to those I’d had in the main camp, but these were far nicer, of course. The space was tidy and smelled of fresh bed linens, and Irena closed the door before directing me to a bottom bunk.

“Sorry I doused you with ruined coffee to get Protz away from you.” I chuckled and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, leaving a red streak. “Give me your uniform. Have you learned anything helpful from the guards?”

I expected her to answer the question and reprimand me for the rashness of my plan, but she didn’t respond. Instead she took off her black gloves and checked her jacket’s two large square pockets. After pulling out a watch and a white handkerchief she placed the items on her bunk and removed the jacket. Irena traced her finger over the eagle atop the swastika that adorned the upper left arm, then she threw it with as much force as she could muster.

“You can take this fucking uniform and let it burn in hell where it belongs!” When the jacket landed in a crumpled heap on the floor, she sat on her bunk with her head in her hands. All I heard were her heavy breaths. “Dammit, Maria,” she whispered at last, her voice muffled.

Granted, I, too, would have been upset if Protz had kissed me, but I didn’t think that’s what had prompted the outburst. When Irena handed me the handkerchief, she refused to lift her head, and I laughed and sat on a small stool at the foot of her bunk.

“Do you think I haven’t been hit much harder than that? We did what we had to do, Irena.”

“I don’t give a damn about what we had to do. Those bastards make your life hell, and now I’m one of them.” She refocused on the dirty uniform and dropped her voice to a mutter. “This was a stupid idea. I should’ve come back as a prisoner instead.”

“No, you made the right choice. This way, you have access to places I don’t, you can learn things I can’t, and you’re safe as long as they don’t find out the truth. And even if something happens to me, you still have your freedom. You can get back to Helena.”

“Yes, my daughter will be so proud to have a mother who slapped her friend in the name of saving our lives.” The words dripped with contempt.

“We had to—”