They stood there, awkwardly, until she couldn’t take it any longer. Knowing this was the last time was like a dagger in her heart, and prolonging it was only making it worse. She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Stepping in, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. He froze, not responding in the least, and that made her heart break a little bit more.

She edged away. “Be happy, Christopher Ward. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. Don’t let anyone ever convince you otherwise.”

When he didn’t react or speak, she deflated. Why wasn’t he trying to make this easier? Reassure her with false smiles and his infamous charm? She hardly knew this cold and withdrawn man.

If this was what men acted like after intercourse, then Alice was in no rush to repeat it.

Lifting her chin, she reached for the knob and went out the door. Ready to leave the past and present behind.

The future awaited.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Light flooded her room, jarring Alice from a deep sleep. Hadn’t she just closed her eyes? “What’s happened?”

Mary, her maid, was there, looking worried. “Miss, your mother’s returned. Said I must wake you up right quick. I don’t know what’s happened but I hope she hasn’t found out that I left you unattended.”

“No, no.” Alice pushed up to a seated position—and gasped. She was sore everywhere. Swallowing against the pain, she said, “That is our secret. The only way she’d find out is if one of us told her.”

“I’ll never tell, miss. You have my word. She’d fire me straightaway, if she knew.”

She’d also commit Alice to a convent. Or an asylum.

“I’ll never allow that to happen,” Alice promised. “Where is she?”

“In her room. Said to send you over when you were dressed.”

“What time is it?”

“Just after ten, miss.”

Goodness, that late? She’d arrived home around one o’clock and hadn’t fallen asleep until after three. The excitement over the night—overseeing her first kitchen, the thrill of watching the guests enjoy her food, making love with Kit afterward—had taken a long time to wear off. “Just pick out a dress while I am in the washroom. Best not to keep her waiting.”

Alice gave herself no opportunity to think about Kit while she cleaned her teeth and used the facilities. She had no regrets and, like Nellie said, she intended to live as if each day was her last. No more putting off her responsibilities and wishing for things that could never happen.

When she was dressed and presentable, she knocked on her mother’s door. Mama’s maid answered and let Alice in, where she found her mother poring over the society talk in the newspaper. “Hello, Mama. How was your trip?”

“Sit down, Alice.”