PHEMY. Thing is, Margaret, he’ll go for me now, soon as his eyes stop watering. You canny let go of their balls once you’ve got them. That could get you killed.

The GUARD is struggling to straighten up and breathe.

GUARD. Oh, you’re getting killed, sweetheart. You’re right there.

MARGARET and JOHN are squared up to each other.

MARGARET. If you want a private conversation with me, Lord John, I will be happy to talk to you.

JOHN. Wait outside, Archie.

GUARD. Aye but…

JOHN (cutting him off). Wait outside.

The GUARD exits.

MARGARET. Princess Annabella, we need the room.

ANNABELLA. Of course you do, Queen Margaret. Of course you do. I’m truly sorry to be in your way.

ANNABELLA and PHEMY move to exit.

But we’ll just be next door. I’m sorry, Margaret.

MARGARET. It’s alright.

They exit.

JOHN. If you know where he is, if there’s even a chance of getting him back to talk to his parliament today, he has to do it. They’re leaving. It’ll be three months before we can assemble again.

MARGARET. I don’t know where he is.

JOHN. Christ, what a mess.

MARGARET. We have audited the treasury papers and the King has signed the urgent matters of foreign correspondence.

She looks out papers and hands them to him.

You had no business disturbing us like this. You’ve no right.

No one cares about the business of parliament. As long as the rich men keep their land and their money. That’s all any of you really worry about, isn’t it?

You don’t even show up unless you think he’s going to ask for taxes.

JOHN. I’ve attended every parliament since I became entitled.

MARGARET. Then you must be seriously starved of other distractions.

JOHN. Make or change the law and you change the lives of every human soul in the country. That’s what I see happening.

MARGARET. And who cares? Most people don’t care about the law. They want someone else to make it for them and then they never think about it unless they need something to complain about apart from the weather.

JOHN. Oh, is that what you think of us?

(Pointing at the page.) That’s wrong.

MARGARET. No.

JOHN. Yes.

MARGARET. No.

You need to add the figures in from this column here, see?

(Points.) And that’s the total there.

JOHN. The King never even looked at these, did he? This is your work. It has to be.

MARGARET. Yes. I’m helping the King.

JOHN. You’re happy with that, are you? Doing his work while he… What is he up to anyway?

MARGARET. Oh, I’m sure whatever you’re imagining will be far more entertaining than the truth.

JOHN reads another page.

JOHN. Well, never mind. As long as he’s got someone sorting out his laundry, eh?

MARGARET. What?