Her breath catches in her throat. She wants him so badly, just her and him like it used to be. ‘I know, but there’s a lot of pressure lately at work. I want to do a good job.’

Pushing her onto her back, he climbs on top of her. He cups her chin in his hand and strokes her hair, caressing her scalp. She is wide awake now, her mind racing, the events of the day charging into her brain. She ignores them all. She just wants this.

‘I just don’t like it when you’re not here, Oli,’ he says. ‘I want you all to myself.’

CHAPTER NINETEEN: THURSDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER 2015

CHAPTER NINETEEN

THURSDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER 2015

THERE’S AN UNIDENTIFIABLE CORD IN THE CAR CONSOLE. OLI examines it while she waits for the garage door to open. It’s definitely not hers, so it must be one of Cooper’s. He seems to have at least ten on him at all times. She sends a photo of it to Cooper. Hopefully this one isn’t critical?

Pulsing dots appear on the screen. Nah, I’ve got tons of spares.

She reverses onto the quiet street, flicks on the headlights and heads toward the office. The grey sky churns, making rain. It’s only just gone six, so Cooper is up early. When Oli was starting out as a journalist, the pre-dawn hours almost killed her. She recalls struggling to stay awake in editorial meetings and falling asleep on the couch at night watching TV. Cooper is clearly a different breed of young person, one of those spring-out-of-bed types. Plus, he probably isn’t partying as hard as Oli used to; he seems more likely to be in bed early with a cup of tea.

Up ahead, the light turns red and she slows. There’s not a car in sight, so she just sits there staring at the road. Lily tapped into a truth last night, one that Oli has been ignoring for months. The rational part of her brain knows that because she put Dean on a pedestal for so long and yearned for his affection so much, his sudden availability in itself was intoxicating. When Isabelle died, being with him suddenly became a possibility, and Oli grew obsessed with the idea. Even though she didn’t actually pursue him, the eight years of progress she made in the quest to get over him was instantly null and void, her feelings for Rusty collateral damage.

Oli breathes out, barely daring to acknowledge the nasty little thought clawing at the edges of her mind. It isn’t what you thought it would be.