Rufus nods. “That might be best. I don’t really think I can continue visiting here. Or not when your condition becomes obvious.” He takes her hand in his, stroking her fingers. “I’m sorry it has to end, little bird. I promise I have never loved a woman the way I loved you.”

Amara’s own voice shakes with emotion, though not for the man holding her hand. “I will always love you. Which is why I know I have to let you go.” She allows herself to sob then, giving way to all the pent-up terror, the guilt and the grief.

“There, my darling,” Rufus soothes, perhaps pleased to be the object of so much heartbreak. “You know I will still look after you. Not like this. But I won’t allow you or the child to suffer.”

Amara grips his hand. “I don’t deserve you.”

“I will pay a year’s rent to Julia. And a small allowance for you,” She waits to hear the amount, but Rufus does not elaborate, and Amara cannot press him over it, not when everything hangs on her next question.

“I was thinking,” she says, her heart beating so hard, the thud of it feels like a drum, trapped in her ribcage. “Perhaps I could take Philos to help look after the child. He is educated, and I know he is trustworthy, which will matter when I am so very alone.”

“I suppose that’s not a bad idea. You know he helped care for me when I was a boy?” Amara shakes her head, as if this information is new to her. “I’m happy to lend him to you a while longer, though I will still need him several hours a week, as before.”

The hope that had been rising in Amara’s heart plummets back down into panic. “Lend him?” Her voice sounds breathless. “Couldn’t you . . . couldn’t you make a gift of him to me?”

“You’ll be taking plenty of presents I’ve given you, all the jewelry. And there’s an allowance. Or don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I trust you! I just think I might need him for several years—it takes so much time to educate a child. And one slave isn’t so much to ask.”

“He isn’t just one slave,” Rufus says testily. “He knows my family’s entire business, has done for years. Philos probably does more work in an hour than three other servants do in a day.”

Amara has known Rufus long enough to recognize when he has made up his mind, when he is on the edge of losing patience, but she is too desperate to leave the subject alone. “Please, my love.” She tries to smile. “It would mean so much to me. The last gift I will ever ask from you.” She kisses his fingers.