She thought about it. She didn’t think of herself as a cold person, but knew that she could sometimes come across that way when she felt uncomfortable.

But as she thought back over her time in Mulberry Bay, she realised that she had behaved quite standoffish a lot of the time, through awkwardness, or simply through not wanting to get anyone’s hopes up.

Whenever there had been a small success that Penny took pride in, she had poured cold water over it. Whenever she herself had felt hope or comfort, she had told herself that it wasn’t real, that it was distracting her from getting back to her normal life. How long had she not been listening to herself?

She thought back to her first few years away from home, at college in Dublin. She had adored city life back then, she was sure of that, loved how getting up each day was like getting up to a starter pistol, how every little thing was vitally urgent and important. And then later, when she graduated and moved to London to work, she had loved being successful, her buildings getting noticed and her name being mentioned. The late nights, all the different people from all walks of life, the string of exciting, more sophisticated boyfriends, the accents, the bright and ludicrous fashions: she had loved it all.

But then somewhere along the line, it had all started to get a bit commonplace. And the easier it all was, the more stale it became. Lately Elle was coming to the conclusion that she was no longer exhilarated by the rush; she was tiring of it. She felt jaded by the pointlessness of her fleeting romances.

Often she needed to really gear herself up before walking out the door. She knew her work was good, and she enjoyed it still, but could have done with a change of a scenery, a new challenge perhaps. There were various things that had been telling her this over the years, but she hadn’t been listening.

Well, it was too late now.

Or was it?

She could think about going back to Ireland and making a new life, a different life, she supposed, but the one she really wanted was gone. How long had she been ignoring thoughts of Rob, too? Writing their relationship off as just nostalgia, when really her mind was trying to tell her something different.

How ridiculous, to just realise it now, Elle thought, her heart sinking. More ridiculous still, that she’d had a second chance and squandered it again.

She was supposed to be working on a new project now for the firm. It wasn’t very exciting, just a functional office block outside of Central London and the owners were very locked down about what they wanted. No frills, nothing too audacious. Elle could have done this kind of work in her sleep.