Christopher No idea what you’re talking about, David.

David Just that I got a sense in the village recently – you felt it at the service today, too – just that everybody seems to be a bit … I don’t know … vigilant? … on edge?

Christopher For heaven’s sake who could object to Richard’s silly tabulations? Nothing to worry about. Good to be vigilant. (softly) By the way, what’s the name of his clerk fellow? Tomkins? – Watkins?

Margaret Perkins.

Christopher Perkins – the parrot!

Margaret He told me this morning his grandmother came from Wicklow.

Christopher (parrot voice) ‘Grandmother came from Wicklow.’

Margaret (admonishing finger) Christopher!

Christopher And just watch him, Margaret: he has a lascivious eye on our little Sally.

He goes into the house, and immediately David embraces Margaret.

David Let me hold you, Maggie.

Margaret Shhh – careful, David.

David I haven’t held you since breakfast time.

Margaret What did you hear in the village?

David I’ve got the most unbelievably good news.

Margaret David –

David Devised a most audacious plan for us. No more secrecy. No more tiptoeing about.

Margaret Tell me what you heard.

David Just a restlessness – a whiff of unease – that Lifford business – nothing to do with us. Promise – nothing at all. The new scheme is simple and it is daring and I am hugely, inordinately proud of it. In fact it is a plan touched by genius.

Margaret Genius?

David Genius.

Pause.

Margaret Well?

David We’ll run away to Glasgow!

Margaret (flatly) Glasgow.

David We’ll go to Derry next Saturday to buy some fencing posts, ho-ho-ho. We’ll get the boat there that night. And on Sunday morning there will be magnificent Glasgow and a glorious new life spread out before us.

Margaret And what will you do in Glasgow?

David What all the men from around here do: labour on one of those enormous Scottish farms! I’ll be a tatty-hoker for God’s sake! And when the harvest is over we’ll move to Edinburgh and I’ll give cello lessons. Things may be tight for a time but I have saved enough money to tide us over for a fortnight at least. And we can live frugally – two rooms, one room. It’ll be no hardship for you – you’re so adaptable.

Margaret (wearily) You can’t ‘run away’ to Glasgow, David.

David Why can’t we?

Margaret And one day’s labouring would kill you. And you’d suffocate in one room. And you haven’t played the cello for twenty years. And you don’t even know what tatty-hoking means!

David Of course I know. It means … hoking tatties.

Margaret (gently) It’s not really a wonderful scheme, is it?

Pause.

David I have a fall-back.

Margaret I am right, amn’t I?

David Selberawawa.

Margaret What?

David In Kenya. North-east of Nairobi. A nephew of Mother’s has a huge estate there. Tristram Brooke. His home place is in Warwickshire.

Margaret North-east of Nairobi.

David Exactly! Tristram farms goats. Exports thousands of skins every year.