Tara I don’t know. I was going to wait until I’d sorted out our natives.

Leah Haven’t you taken the material to the tailor?

Tara No. Not yet.

Leah Why not?

Tara I wanted to see how many people RSVPed. On my side. Usually everyone wears the same, so the guests can match. Do you think it’ll be weird for us to wear attire if there aren’t any Nigerians there?

Leah No! We can get our friends to wear it. My family.

Tara Your sister’s had that baby pink bodycon picked out since before we were engaged. Tanya’s not changing her outfit for anyone.

Leah I’ll talk to her. Have they still not called?

Tara No.

Leah Why don’t you ring them? It’s been over a month.

Tara I’m not making the first move! They’re the ones in the wrong.

Leah Yeah babe, but you didn’t give them much time to come around to the idea. See it from their perspective. You bring around some random woman and say you’re going to marry her. That’s a lot to take in.

Tara You had met them before.

Leah Barely!

Tara At graduation.

Leah That doesn’t count. That’s before we were together.

Tara But you weren’t a stranger.

Leah I was as good as a stranger to them. You could have at least told them when I proposed! Or invited them round when we moved in together. You know, something! I honestly feel sometimes like if I hadn’t gone with you that night, you never would have told them.

Tara I would have!

Leah After we’d been married for ten years, with three kids. Three secret kids!

Tara No!

Beat.

Three? I thought we said two –

Leah Yeah, two, depending! Depending on how we do it. I just said three for dramatic effect.

Tara You say everything for dramatic effect.

Leah You think I’m being dramatic? You think it’s too much to ask to have your girlfriend – your fiancée tell her parents about you?

Tara That’s easy for you to say!

Leah What?

Tara You’ve got no idea what it’s like. Your parents practically threw a party when you came out.

Leah No they didn’t!

Tara Your mum’s there crying happy tears while mine’s calling me an abomination and you’re really trying to tell me how I should handle things?

Leah That’s not fair.