The morning of the event, my nervousness had taken root and sprouted thorns. I had meant to stop reading the blogs devoted to covering me, but they’re as easy to quit as smoking (and about as hazardous to my health). People mostly fell into two camps: betrayed by my duplicity, or fiercely certain that every word Clive wrote was a lie. Those in the middle—even and often especially the ones with well-reasoned theories skating close to the truth—got shouted down and chased away. And every single one of them was itching to see what I would wear for my first public event since my disastrous wedding. Donna had been making pulls for weeks in anticipation of this exact eventuality, and would later be tasked with passing that information to the Palace’s social media director. Someone had to make sure reporters found out that my beige suede shoes were Jimmy Choos (pricey, to indicate that I wasn’t half-assing this) and my simple pink day dress was from Boden (a high-street brand, to communicate that I hadn’t been blowing all The Firm’s money).

Even so, managing all those outside expectations was practically uncomplicated compared to the other major X factor. I hadn’t spoken to Freddie in person since the night we were recalled to Balmoral. I’d seen him out the library window coming and going, and I’d texted him twice to ask if he wanted to come dig through Georgina’s junk, or join us for dinner. Both times, he’d been otherwise engaged.

Right before we were meant to leave for Hampton Court, I saw Freddie wander over and sit on our front steps to bury his nose in our dossier for this appearance. My stomach sank. Normally, Freddie wouldn’t think twice about walking in and flopping on the couch—hell, the first time we met, it was because he’d snuck into Nick’s room as a joke—but now he couldn’t even stand to ring the bell. I decided to force a conversation even if it killed him. Apparently, the main duty of the Duchess of Clarence was finagling recalcitrant royals into talking.

I pulled open the door as subtly as I could, poked out my head, and then shouted, “Why didn’t you knock?”

Freddie jumped, nearly dropping the dossier. He closed it around his finger to mark his place, and got to his feet. “I, uh, didn’t know if you’d be ready,” he said.

I eased outside and closed the door, then waved my hand in a ta-da motion. “My duchess costume is a go.”

He took a step back against the railing. “You look extremely unscandalous. Where’s Nick?”

“On the phone. Probably getting yelled at about something.”

“I heard Gran is giving you a rough go,” Freddie said.