Lilian meanwhile was yelling that the water was coming into the rooms. We couldn’t find any rope, but there were long-handled mops in the dining hall, so Tom and Donald grabbed those and held them out while Lilian scrambled over her car and into the rising waters. It wasn’t deep but it was swift, and if you weren’t ready it could knock you off your feet. One at a time, they grabbed the mop handle and Donald pulled them in, passed them to Tom. We scrambled for the van. We got out of there.

I understand that the Ranch was badly damaged in the flood, and that you are moving to a new location, partnering up with a school of social media, or something like that. It sounds nice, and the possibility of more online classes sounds convenient too. I just don’t think it’s for me.

Partly, to be honest, this is because I can see that you are already rewriting my story. Take the ABC News interview with me and Donald: why just us? We are two people out of six, and while some of them (your staff members) did not make the best decisions, everybody was part of that experience, and we made it through together. And Donald did not save Marianne, not the way you described it. Though he might remember things differently and might be interested in the opportunity, it isn’t the truth. I don’t blame him—I understand that, as a novelist and an entertainer, he may have a different relationship to the truth—but I am not comfortable with that. What really happened is complicated and messy. Like you told me, if you want to sell a story it has to be simple.

Thank you again for what you tried to do for me. I’m sorry that I’m not up for it, but I’m not.

Please don’t put any more words in my mouth. I am working on a book of poems, and I can tell that it will be slow going. But when it’s done, every word will be my own.

Sincerely,

Janine Gray

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