I was surprised to find Ivy still there. Usually when she broke down like this, she went running to Piscary. But then, she had never broken down quite like this before. She had been afraid. She had pinned me to the wall because she had been afraid. Afraid of what? Of me telling her she couldn’t tear out Glenn’s throat? Friend or not, I’d leave if I saw her take someone in my kitchen. The blood would give me nightmares forever.

“Are you okay?” I rasped, hunching into myself when it triggered a spate of coughing.

She didn’t move, sitting at the table with her back to me. She had her head in her hands.

I had figured out shortly after we had moved in together that Ivy didn’t like who she was. Hated the violence even as she instigated it. Struggled to abstain from blood even as she craved it. But she was a vampire. She didn’t have a choice. The virus had fixed itself deep into her DNA and was there to stay. You are what you are. That she had lost control and let her instincts have sway meant failure to her.

“Ivy?” I got to my feet, listing slightly as I stumbled to her. I could still feel the impressions of her fingers around my neck. It had been bad, but nothing like the time she had pinned me to a chair in a cloud of lust and hunger. I pushed my black bow back where it belonged. “You all right?” I reached out, then drew back before touching her.

“No,” she said as my hand dropped. Her voice was muffled. “Rachel, I’m sorry. I—I can’t…” She hesitated, taking a ragged breath. “Don’t take this run. If it’s the money—”

“It’s not the money,” I said before she could finish. She turned to me, and my anger that she might try to buy me off died. A shiny ribbon of moisture showed where she had tried to wipe it away. I’d never seen her cry before, and I eased myself down in the chair beside her. “I have to help Sara Jane.”

She looked away. “Then I’m going out to Piscary’s with you,” she said, her voice holding a thin memory of its usual strength.

I clutched my arms about myself, one hand rubbing the faint scar on my neck until I realized I was unconsciously doing it to feel it tingle. “I was hoping you would,” I said as I forced my hand down.

She gave me a frightened, worried smile and turned away.

Six