I wedged one of my fuzzy pink slippers off and dismally scratched the back of my calf with my toe. It was after midnight, but the kitchen was bright, gleams of fluorescent light reflecting off my copper spell pots and hanging utensils. Standing at the stainless steel island, I ground the pestle into the mortar, pulping the wild geranium into a green paste. Jenks had found it in a vacant lot for me, trading one of his precious mushrooms for it. The pixy clan that worked the lot had gotten the better end of the deal, but I think Jenks felt sorry for them.

Nick had made us sandwiches about a half an hour ago, and the lasagna was put away into the fridge still hot. My bologna sandwich had been tasteless. I didn’t think I could blame it all on the fact that Nick hadn’t put ketchup on it as I asked, saying he couldn’t find any in the fridge. Stupid human foible. I’d find it endearing if it didn’t tick me off so much.

Ivy had yet to show, and I wouldn’t eat the lasagna by myself in front of Nick. I wanted to talk to her but I’d have to wait until she was ready. She was the most private person I knew, not even telling herself what her feelings were until she found a logical reason to justify them.

Bob the fish swam in my next-to-the-largest spell pot beside me on the counter. I was going to use him as my familiar. I needed an animal, and fish were animals, right? Besides, Jenks would flip out if I so much as hinted at a kitten, and Ivy had given her owls to her sister after one narrowly escaped being torn apart when it caught Jenks’s youngest daughter. Jezebel was fine. The owl might be able to fly again. Someday.

Depressed, I continued to grind the leaves to a pulp. Earth magic held more power when made between sunset and midnight, but tonight I was having difficulty concentrating, and it was already past one. My thoughts kept circling back to that photo and the Make-a-Wish camp. A heavy sigh escaped me.

Nick looked up from the opposite side of the counter, where he was perched on a bar stool finishing off the last of the bologna sandwiches. “Give it up, Rachel,” he said, smiling to soften his words, clearly knowing where my thoughts lay. “I don’t think you’ve been tampered with, and even if you were, how could anyone prove it?”

I let the pestle fall still and pushed the mortar away. “My father died because of me,” I said. “If it hadn’t been for me and my damned blood disease, he’d still be here. I know it.”

His long face went sad. “In his mind, it was probably his fault you were sick.”