‘It’s ten to two. Unless of course the watch you gave me is wrong.’

He gave a little laugh as he zipped up his pants. ‘Those watches never go wrong. They’re hours ahead of us in Japan. Look, darling, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I thought I could just slip out without …’

‘Thanks. You’re so thoughtful.’

‘I was going to ring you at some reasonable time and explain. Something came up last night – I’m sorry. It’s all part of the money game. You want to be rich and powerful, you’ve got to be prepared to play the game this way.’ He was almost gabbling, anxious to be away. He flicked at his hair with a comb and pulled on his jacket. I heard a cab draw up outside the house. He heard it too. I saw that on his face.

‘Don’t be cross. I love you.’ He blew me a kiss. ‘Go back to sleep, my darling. I’ll call you.’

Then he was gone. After a few moments I heard the cab door slam and it drove off.

Of course I never went back to sleep.

I wondered about the niggling pain in my back.

I wondered why he didn’t tell me things that I really ought to know.

Was this something to do with my personality or his?

Did he see in me some capability for anger, throwing things, petulant violence? I didn’t see myself like that in any way.

Was he perhaps a man who liked to keep information to himself, even to the point of lying to the people he loved and trusted?

How well did I know him?

Well, well, well, a voice in my head shouted.

Don’t fool yourself, came a warning whisper. I wondered what my mother would be saying to me if she were here. That was when I should have fallen asleep, but I didn’t.

The phone rang at a quarter past seven. ‘Did I wake you?’ he asked.

‘No. I’ve been awake since ten to two.’

‘I am always having to ask you to forgive me.’

I didn’t reply to that, there seemed no need.

‘This evening.’ His voice was tentative. ‘Clara, I want to see you this evening. May I?’

‘They’re showing Les Enfants du Paradis at the local cinema. I want to see that. That’s where I should have been last night only you turned up. Have you ever seen it?’

‘No.’

‘It’s a dream film. Let’s go to that and then eat out afterwards. That’s what I’d like to do. Like I’ve said before, I want to do something normal with you. A lot of normal things.’

He didn’t speak

‘James K’van,’ I said. ‘Are you still there?’

‘I’m here. I can’t stay the night. My mother’s back again. So if we went to the movies and then ate out, we couldn’t … we wouldn’t have time to …’