Joseph is right. Death is something that happens to everyone, but knowing when it’s going to happen, choosing when you make the transition from life to death, choosing whether or not you’ll be a ghost and stick around a little longer, isn’t something most people get the chance to do. Shelly’s mom didn’t get to decide when she died. And unless she comes back, Shelly isn’t going to get the chance to say goodbye to her the way she’s getting the chance to say goodbye to Joseph now.

It’s not much, but it’s a small comfort.

“I’m sorry.” Shelly reaches out to touch the mug in the same spot as Joseph’s cold hand. “I hope wherever you’re going is nice. I hope you like it.”

Joseph looks at Shelly and smiles. “Yeah,” he says. “Me, too.”

Grandma combs Shelly’s hair and Joseph gets blurrier and blurrier until he fades away. Just before he goes, he tilts his head to the side, looking startled. “Oh,” he says, his voice like static. “I hear music.”

And then he’s gone. Shelly blinks hot tears off her eyelashes and Grandma keeps combing her hair until her tears stop falling.

“Do you feel better?” Grandma asks, handing Shelly Joseph’s milk, now just lukewarm.

“No.” The kitchen feels empty without Joseph. The house feels empty knowing she doesn’t have a crowd of ghosts waiting in her bedroom, but without their cold weight it feels warmer, too. The ache she’s been feeling from filling her hair and room with ghosts isn’t there anymore. Something has changed. Shelly’s not sure if that’s good or bad.

21

Shelly and Grandma sleep in Mom’s room that night—or Grandma does, anyway. Shelly lies awake with her back to Grandma, staring at the shuttered blinds over the window and thinking about Joseph. Joseph said that staying with her wasn’t what a friend would do. Maybe he was right, but it’s still not fair. It’s not fair that Shelly’s mom died. It’s not fair that she hasn’t come back. It’s not fair that Shelly didn’t even get to say goodbye to her, like she did to Joseph.

If Shelly could have one last conversation with her mom, she’d tell her she should be a ghost. She’d tell her she should stick around and be here with Shelly. That this is where she belongs.

Shelly would say she misses her. She’d say she loves her.

Her mom would say she didn’t mean to leave so soon. She’d say she loves Shelly, too. And Shelly knows she’d say she wishes she could stay, but the dead aren’t meant to stick around.