Chloe laughs at my appalled face. ‘It’s a false alarm. She’s on the pill, but she’s a stress-head. Sometimes I think she wants it to be true, because then she wouldn’t have to finish school.’ Chloe finally lets one half of her burger bun rest in peace. ‘What would you do if you got pregnant?’

The question takes me by surprise so much I answer truthfully. ‘Well, I think I’d have to have sex for that to be an issue.’

‘What do you—oh. Oh, right.’ Chloe looks embarrassed. She suddenly pays enormous attention to her thickshake.

‘Yes,’ I confirm. ‘You may say it out loud. I am the sluttiest-looking virgin in town.’

‘No! I wasn’t thinking that.’ Chloe has flushed adorably red.

‘I’m joking,’ I say. ‘It’s not a precious gift I’m saving. My sister says I shouldn’t be so heteronormative and that I’ve done enough stuff with enough people to consider myself not a virgin. I’ve done everything but it—what about you?’

‘Everything but? Nah, I’m not into that butt stuff.’

It takes me a moment to catch her drift, and then I can see she’s barely holding herself together.

‘Filthy harlot!’

I throw fries at her and she grows hysterical. Finally, someone with their head as much in the gutter as me.

‘TELL ME, LITTLE CHLO-CHLO.’

Eventually she relents.

‘Okay, okay. I did it a few times, and I shouldn’t have. This guy Brandon at my old school really liked me, and I knew I wanted to. I wasn’t in love with him or anything. I thought it would be a good opportunity to…get it out of the way? That sounds awful, doesn’t it?’

‘No, I get it.’

‘Afterwards I didn’t know why I’d been in such a rush to do it. And I also figured out way too late that he’s got a thing for Asian girls. I felt…like I should have realised.’

‘Haven’t you heard? We’re teenagers. Apparently we’re supposed to be impulsive one hundred per cent of the time.’

We smile at each other and it’s this completely calm moment. My smile wavers when I realise this might be the first time I’ve felt genuinely happy since Yin was taken.

I’m a monster.

There were so many times today when I was going to tell Chloe about my history with Yin, how close we used to be. And I knew if I did Chloe wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, she would take it in, like she does with everything, like a sponge that soaks up everything you’ve spilled. But I still didn’t say anything.

‘Chloe,’ I whisper, leaning forwards, shaking off the guilts. ‘There’s this old lady right behind you, and she’s been listening to every word we’ve said.’

Her mouth makes a perfect shocked circle, and she’s trying to see over her shoulder, and then Jeremy knocks really loudly on the window with his car keys and scares the living daylights out of both of us.