The lids of my mother’s eyes lifted. Her lips formed a weak smile.

“Hey, baby,” she murmured.

Jim did not stand to greet me; instead, he began to sob.

“Daddy’s crying again,” Dolly said. “It’s all he ever does anymore.”

My mother stayed conscious for only a few moments and then closed her eyes, drifting off to the sound of her husband’s whimpering.

I thought of all of the things I had wanted to tell her over the years, and the things I wanted to say now. That I had missed her. That I was sorry. That I had wanted her to be sorry, but I had also wanted her to be happy. That I loved her.

But I couldn’t say any of that in front of these people.

four

Dolly was waiting for me when I came down the stairs, Vanessa beside her. I offered one hand to my sister, and Vanessa took the other, and together the three of us walked down the porch steps and off toward the pasture.

On the other side of a white rail fence, the horses were grazing in the center of the field. Dolly explained to me which one was which and what they were like.

“So you like to ride?” I said.

“Oh, yes.”

“My father was good with horses.”

“Daddy?” Dolly said.

“No. We don’t have the same daddy, remember?”

“But we have the same mommy.”

“That’s right.”

“Dolly,” Vanessa said. “Would you like to go down to the barn and feed the chickens?”

“Sure,” she said.

“Charlie and I will catch up.”

Dolly broke away from us and ran down to the barn.

“Arch says you’re trying for children,” I said.

The color rose in her cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just thought—I was just going to say, I can tell that you’re going to be a wonderful mother.”

“I’m getting a lot of practice these days.”

“Along with the lawyering.”

“Actually, I’m leaving the firm. Daddy can’t seem to manage at the moment, so I’ve started to take over his responsibilities. But I can do most of that from home.”

“Arch told me you were thinking about taking a break,” I said. “Mind if I smoke?”

“Go right ahead,” she said. Then as I lit up, she said, “Can I have a drag?”

I handed her my cigarette. She took a long pull and exhaled a luxurious plume of smoke.

“Have your own,” I said, offering her the pack.

“Arch would kill me,” she said. She winked.

“I hear your mother has a new companion,” I said.

“Not new to us. But yes. She’s better with him than without.”

“I’m glad she has someone to keep her company.”

“We don’t see her much.”

“That must be a relief.”

“She’s still my mother, Charlie,” Vanessa said.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything.”