I shook my head again. “I was actually fine with it in high school, because it kept me focused, but it also did something to my confidence that made what happened in college possible.” It was the first time I had admitted that out loud and I had to suck in a deep breath to keep from crying again.

“I went to a party that weekend with the running back. I was supposed to meet him there though, so Karly came with me. Her sorority friends were supposed to be there too. The weird thing was, there didn’t seem to be a lot of people when we got there.” I glanced up at Luna and her worried gaze made me look down again. “It was so quiet when we entered the house. The music was low, the lights too. I’d never been to a quiet college party before. It should have been a sign to get the hell out of there, but Karly assured me that everything was all right and the girls had told her it was a low-key event since there was a game the following day. She made me believe it when she talked about how coach would kick the guys’ asses if he knew they were throwing a wild party.

“So, I stayed, and people started trickling in from upstairs and out back on the lawn. Eventually, my crush showed up too and took me downstairs to see their trophy from the year before. I went, like a dummy. Only, when I got down there, the girls from the sorority were waiting. They grabbed me, tied and taped me to a chair, and started cutting my clothes off me.”

“Oh my God! Mina, you can’t be serious.” I couldn’t respond if I was going to get this out, so I just swallowed down the scream that wanted to come out as I remembered the worst night of my life.

“They stripped me bare while I was tied to that chair. Then they put a diaper around me and stuffed a pacifier in my mouth.” The past humiliation flared up as I recounted everything. “They put my hair in pigtails, and then, they opened the door and called for the other guys to come down. My best friend, the one from high school who was staying at home instead of the dorms, was with them. She went right into the arms of the running back I’d been crushing on. Apparently, they had started dating during the first week of school, and when Karly’s friends informed her that I had a crush on him, she thought I was trying to steal him away.”

I swiped at the tears that were falling down my cheeks again. “I didn’t even know she had been seeing anyone. We didn’t have the same classes and since she still lived at home and I was trying to befriend my roommate, we hadn’t seen much of one another.”

“That’s no excuse,” Luna hissed.

“No, it wasn’t, especially when she saw what they had done to me. They put me on display like I was a baby. I was tied to a chair, not having sex with her boyfriend or something. She did nothing to help me. Actually, she did worse than nothing. She laughed at me. They all did. The things they said…” the sobs choked off any more of my words for a bit and Luna was back to holding me.