“So, did they tell you to listen to your gut from now on and bad things won’t happen?”

I shook my head. “Actually, no. She told me that I had to be extra careful that it didn’t become a crutch to keep me from moving forward in life. She was right too. That’s the whole reason I ended up saying yes and going to Vegas with you.”

“Because you had a bad feeling?”

“No. I went because I let what happened before mess with my head. If I was married, then things like what happened with Carlos would no longer be an issue. I knew when I started with Carlos that it was never going to be anything real, that he was probably using me for the help. I justified it because in my own way, I was using him to hide away from the possibility of getting hurt by someone else. I did the same thing with you.

“My point is, there will be times when you doubt yourself just because you’re thrown off your game or uncomfortable for some reason, but where you could normally listen to your gut, it will seem murky. Your mind, these past events, they’ll mess with your judgement and you might play everything out too cautiously when it wasn’t really your gut talking but your self-doubt.”

“Makes sense.” Tucker closed his eyes for a moment before slowly opening them up and looking at me again. “How about we try to keep each other on the right track from here on out?”

That was a big ask. It meant we had to trust one another’s judgment. It meant we would have to be true partners. I squeezed his good hand, ready to tell him I didn’t think that was a great idea yet, but when I glanced back up from our joined hands, his eyes were closed again. He wasn’t ignoring my lack of response; the meds had finally kicked in and put him out. It gave me time to think things through.

Chapter 21

Over the next week and a half, when I was at school taking exams, Wes was there at the hospital with Tucker. A new security guard followed me around during my exams. Then he stayed in the shadows of the hospital hallway as I visited with my husband. I slept there most nights. Tucker slowly got better and was able to move around a lot more without being inundated with pain.

Finally, he was able to go home, but under the doctor’s orders that he couldn’t be left alone just yet. That was the main reason I ended up moving back into Tucker’s place. Luna understood, and told me she had someone ask about rooming with her. At first, I was trepidatious about giving up that space. It wasn’t fair to Luna to ask her to hang onto my room though. If things didn’t work out, I’d just go stay with my parents until I could get a place of my own again.