“You’ll see,” and he would. The more time we spent trying to get to know one another, he would be able to see all the parts of me, even the ones I had been using for years to keep people at bay so that they wouldn’t get too close to me. We rode in silence for most of the rest of the way. It wasn’t uncomfortable or filled with awkwardness. It was like we both just had our own thoughts going on and respected the quiet equally.

When we arrived at the restaurant, we were seated quickly, which I found interesting, especially since we were immediately seated at one of the coveted patio tables. “If it’s all about who you know or who you blow,” I joked, “I’m sitting here wondering exactly how you managed this.”

Tucker laughed boisterously as our server placed the drinks that we’d ordered in front of us. “You are something else, Mina.”

“That’s what my family keeps telling me too. Seriously, this was incredibly last minute, how did you manage?”

Tucker sighed then. “Can we not dig too deep into that tonight?” My husband, date, the man seated across from me… I wasn’t even sure how to address exactly who he was to me anymore, even in my own head. I sighed as he glanced away instead of meeting my eyes and suddenly, being there made me feel kind of icky and I couldn’t wrap my head around why.

“Mr. Tucker, lovely to have you here again this evening. Would you enjoy your preferred bottle of wine?” It was not our server who came to the table and asked, so I assumed it had to be someone important, maybe a manager or owner who was used to seeing my husband at the restaurant. I picked up my phone as Tucker spoke quietly with the man. While they spoke, I searched my husband’s name in conjunction with Canoe, and sure enough, there were tons of pictures with him bringing different women to this very spot. Maybe not the exact table, but he could certainly be called a regular and even though I was his wife, which didn’t matter since this was our first official date, I suddenly felt like I was just another bimbo he brought here. To be sure, that’s what the man offering up the wine had thought.

“Excuse me,” I interrupted, “could you point me in the direction of the restroom, please?” The gentleman who had attended our table, apologized and pointed me in the correct direction. I wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for. Maybe he realized he had just ruined our night. I wish he wouldn’t think that though, because it had definitely been Tucker who ruined the night by being so unoriginal as to take me to the place where he apparently took a large number of his previous dates.

I did actually go to the bathroom, but more because I felt sick than for any other reason. Plus, I needed to figure out how to get back to my apartment without it costing me an arm and a leg, since Tucker had driven me here and I no longer wished to stay. I wanted to call Luna and ask her what she would do. I know what Bea would tell me. “Shut up, eat the food, and then never see him again.” Granted, I’m not sure that advice would apply to a man I was already married to, but if this were a normal first date, that would be her sisterly dating advice. Maybe that’s what I should do. I was tired of running from my problems and letting them swamp me.