Tucker blew out a breath and then looked my way again. “So, by the time the idea was presented to you, the stuff with Venla happened, and I went a little wild again. Then, I learned the rest of what was happening with my family and the business, and decided that I couldn’t throw the chance away, even if you deserved better than what I had to offer. It was selfish as fuck in a way, but I thought if I just kept it as an arrangement, a business deal where we didn’t really interact intimately then you would be fine, and one day we could both move on to what we each deserved.”

“I see,” was all I could manage to get out. “Well, aren’t we just the messed-up pair?”

“We are.” He sighed, then turned onto his side so we were facing one another fully. “I know that the mistake I made in Finland hurt you, and I can’t apologize for that enough.”

“No,” I whispered. “I actually get it now. You cared for her before. It’s hard to walk away from people you care for, even if they hurt you.”

“It’s no excuse. I knew she might be there. Her family owns the hotel we were staying in. Venla and her friends frequented the bar there. That’s why I had the ring off. Some fucked up part of me needed to see if Venla would still want me, or if that ship had truly sailed. I wouldn’t have, but when I left, it was clear that you didn’t really want a relationship with me.”

“Well, let’s be fair there. I didn’t, at any time, ever think that a real relationship was possible between us.”

He nodded and continued looking into my eyes. “Do you think, now that we have everything laid out between us, that we can start over and do things the right way this time?”

“Why would you want that?”

“I told you, I wanted it before,” he reminded me.

“What happens when Venla makes another appearance down the road?” He gave me a look, but I just shrugged. “What? It’s a legitimate question. She was the reason things kept going off kilter for you, and she’s the woman you actually did cheat on me with, even if we had an open agreement.”

“No, you’re right. All I can say is that there is no chance of anything ever happening between she and I now. Knowing she took payment to be with me, that’s something that will never be made okay. For her, the fact that I was married and was still with her, that is something she could never forgive because of what happened with her family. So, trust me when I say, there’s no going backwards where she’s concerned anymore.”

“I don’t understand. She was with your father and he was married. Why is it different if you are? Why is it suddenly a problem for her?”

He laughed then. “She never loved my father, so his marriage didn’t matter to her.” He shrugged when I gave him a dubious look. “That’s what she told me.”