Jessica kissed Wesley, then turned her attention to Dominic. ‘Nice to meet you, at last. I know my Joey spends hours talking to you on the phone, but we haven’t met before, have we?’

‘No, Mrs Mitchell,’ Dominic answered politely.

Jessica was shocked by Dominic’s appearance. He was obviously into bodybuilding or something and looked years older than Joey or Wesley.

Dominic had been in this situation in the past with other boyfriends’ parents. He knew exactly how to play it. ‘Your Joey likes coming out with me, Mrs Mitchell. We pull so many girls, we’re babe magnets, aren’t we Joey?’ he joked.

Joey nodded dumbly.

Frankie’s pals arrived shortly after Joey’s. ‘Where did yous sneak off to last night? Joey said you went to a party in Dagenham,’ Frankie asked them.

‘Our night was probably boring compared to yours. The party was crap. Who was that boy you were with?’ Stacey pried.

‘He was gorgeous,’ Demi added.

‘I’ve never seen you behave like that before, Frankie. You looked well loved-up with him, you did,’ Paige giggled.

‘Oh, I’ve known him for years. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. Don’t mention him in front of my parents and don’t mention the Berwick Manor. If any one asks, we went to the pub, then back to yours, Stacey.’

Joyce heard a car engine and almost flew towards the window. ‘Here they are. She’s pretty, Stanley. Looks posh, she does. A bit thin. I’ll have to get Raymond to bring her around ours. I can soon fatten her up – looks like she needs a good dinner, she does.’

Stanley scowled at his wife. She had just moved quicker than his bloody pigeons could. ‘For Christ’s sake, Joycie, don’t start with your comments and embarrass our Raymond, will you?’

Joyce looked at Stanley as though he were something on the bottom of her shoe. ‘Since when have I ever embarrassed anyone?’ she asked innocently.

As her son and Polly walked towards her, Joyce smiled at the girl and, unable to stop herself, did a little curtsy.

‘Whatever are you doing, Mother?’ Raymond asked her.

Joyce ignored him. ‘Pleased to meet you, Polly. My Raymond’s told me so much about you. This is my husband, Stanley. Stanley, stand up and shake Polly’s hand.’

Jessica stood in the doorway with Vicki. Unable to stifle their laughter, they fled back to the kitchen. Raymond followed them.

‘Mother’s off her fucking head. Pour Polly a glass of red wine, sis. I’ll have a beer. This is gonna be a nightmare, I just know it.’

‘Get us another lager, Ed. You got any stronger than five per cent?’ Ronny asked his brother.