Having now calmed down, Eddie couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Did you see that fucking Rotty? I’m sure it swallowed Trotty’s teeth. It was sniffing at them and then I saw them disappear. They were lying on that big bit of rock beside him.’

Eddie’s laugh was infectious and Raymond quickly joined in. ‘The funniest bit was when the dog was licking his face and then had a shit not two yards from his head.’

Eddie had been too focused on his victim to see the dog have a dump. ‘How fucking funny is that? Top dog! I must invest in a Rottweiler, Raymondo, I really must.’

‘Ring Dad again, Mum. Me and Joey are starving,’ Frankie whinged.

Jessica tried her husband’s mobile for the umpteenth time. ‘It’s still switched off,’ she said worriedly.

Bored out of her brains, Frankie urged Joey to follow her upstairs. ‘We’re going to listen to some music, Mum.’

‘Give us a shout when Dad gets home,’ Joey shouted out.

Frankie put the radio on. House music was a new thing out and she and Joey loved listening to the local pirate radio stations that were playing it.

Frankie shut her bedroom door. ‘Thanks, Joey. Now we’re stuck going out with Mum and Dad tonight and, if that ain’t bad enough, you’ve said we’ll pay for it.’

Joey shrugged. ‘I felt sorry for Mum. You could have explained about the party in a kinder way.’

‘Well, what was I meant to say? You know as well as I do that she would have embarrassed us. Can you imagine our friends drinking lemonade, playing pass the parcel and eating jelly and fucking ice cream? Well, no, neither can I. I explained it the best way I could. You always leave it to me, Joey, so best you do it in future.’

Joey sighed. He had always been the coward out of the two of them and left Frankie to it. ‘Sorry, sis,’ he said kindly. He and Frankie rarely argued, and on the odd occasions they did, they were friends again within the hour.

Frankie hugged him. ‘I wish Dad would hurry up, I’m ravenous.’

Joey smiled. ‘Me too.’

By the time Eddie arrived home, Jessica was a bag of nerves. ‘Where have you been? I was so worried!’ she exclaimed, breathing a sigh of relief.

‘Sorry, babe. The car needed a new part and the mechanic had trouble getting it. I should have called, but me battery on me mobile went dead and I couldn’t find a phone box that worked,’ Eddie hated lying to her, but on odd occasions like these, he had little choice.

‘Why are you wearing different clothes? You had your grey trousers on and your white shirt earlier.’