Joey handed her the vodka bottle. ‘You’re such a greedy cow, Frankie. Don’t drink it all, give us it back,’ he said, snatching at it.

Frankie giggled and let out a burp. ‘You’re such an old woman, Joey. Make yourself useful and light me a fag.’

Glancing at his watch, Joey jumped off the park bench. ‘Shit, it’s half-past two. Come on, Frankie, let’s run to the bus stop, else Mum’ll be waiting for us.’

Frankie laughed and gently pushed him. ‘I’ll race you. Last one to the bus stop is a retard.’

Not wanting to upset Eddie at work, Jessica decided not to call him on his mobile, and, instead, wait for him to get home. Unable to concentrate on any Christmas shopping, Jessica went home and got stuck into the housework. To say she was furious was an understatement. The twins had taken her for a complete and utter fool and they needed to be punished. She wondered where they were spending their days and what they were doing. Maybe they were walking the streets or sitting round at a friend’s house, or maybe they were up to worse.

Feeling as though she no longer knew them, Jessica picked Frankie and Joey up from school at their usual time. As hard as it was, she decided not to let them know she’d cottoned on. Eddie was a much better disciplinarian than she was and he would know exactly how to handle the situation. Filled with fury, Jessica did her best to act normal. ‘How was your day?’ she asked.

‘Oh, the usual, Mum,’ Joey replied.

‘I got top marks in maths today,’ Frankie added.

Jessica felt like screaming. Part of her wanted to stop the car and swing for the devious little toe rags, but somehow she managed to stop herself.

‘We’re going upstairs to do our homework,’ Frankie said as soon as they got indoors.

Jessica was glad. Keeping her temper was difficult and the further out of her sight the pair of them were, the better.

Eddie arrived home at half-past five. ‘Hello, darling, I’m starving. Shall I order the grub? Have the kids picked out what they want?’ he asked Jessica.

‘You’d better sit down,’ Jessica told him.

Explaining the story in full, Jessica expected Eddie to go ballistic and was surprised when he didn’t.

‘I’ll go up and speak to ’em. They’ve got to be punished. I think we should ground them till the New Year. What do you think?’ Eddie said calmly.

Jessica was flummoxed. ‘Is that all you’ve got to say? Aren’t you even annoyed with them?’