“This is bullshit!” I slam my hands down on the counter so hard that Gunnar jerks upright. “All of you have been crawling over me for weeks with ghost stories and fucking recruitment speeches, telling me it’s so sad I’m gonna die, but I better do it the right way!” I slam my hands on the counter again. It hurts, but I like it. “Where’s your sacrifice? You got your second chance, Gunnar Larsen. It took you almost forty years, but you got away from your shitty family and found one that loves you. I only get this one life, and the family that loves me is in the hands of a psychopath right now! And you could help them, but, wahh, what if you have to go make new friends because of it? You can go fuck yourself!”

I storm past him, my righteous fury carrying me all the way to the front door before I know what I’m doing, before Gunnar finds his voice. “W-where are you going?”

“Someone needs to save my parents,” I snarl, filled with venom, ready to do damage and too angry to care who gets hurt—even if it’s me. “And if no one will help me, I’m doing it by myself.”

Flinging open the door, I march headfirst into the gloom, ready to become one of the many nightmares that fill this darkness.

28

I’m not even to the end of the front walk before Gunnar blocks my path. “Don’t do anything stupid, Auggie.”

My laugh is so bitter it probably poisons the entire neighborhood. “You mean like trusting a vampire? Like counting on other people to do the right thing when they don’t actually give a shit about what happens to me?”

He tries again. “I know this is a bad situation—”

“No, you don’t,” I fume. “You have no idea what I’m going through, or what I’m willing to do to make it stop. All you can think about is yourself!” Glaring at him, refusing to be cowed, I snap, “Get out of my way.”

“I can’t do that.” He puts his hands on my shoulders—not using his strength against me, exactly, but making it clear that he’s in control. “You can’t fight Rasputin, and you know it. All you can do is give in to him, and I won’t let you.”

“You won’t let me?” Anger thuds in my temples. “You don’t decide what I do. My body’s still mine—at least for now—and I’m going to find my parents. You can either help me, or you can get out of my way.”

I try to move past him, but his grip tightens, his arms like steel girders. “I’m really sorry, Auggie. I don’t want to do this, but it’s for your own good.”